DARK RED ‣ d. osamu

ACT II › O11.

   THE BUSTLING STREETS OF yokohama were heard. [name] was headed towards the shin-yokohama train station. paying for a ticket, she sat down on a bench and drowned herself in reassuring thoughts.

   "passengers, it is 11:55 pm. the train to suribachi city will be arriving now," the voice announced over the speakers. she jolted and shooed her intruding thoughts away, watching the train rush through before stopping. the doors slid open, and she heard smoke from the gas subsiding.

she boarded the train and sat down on one of the seats, being early. the train was soon crowded with others, mostly teenagers, looking for peace in suribachi. some strangely looked as if they were running away like her... except maybe for other reasons.

   i did it, she thought, looking out the window as the train started to pick up speed. i did it. i didn't get caught. this is what's best for them.

   the train was full, but it was oddly silent. everybody was tired because of how late it was, and nobody bothered to say a word, as if a sanctuary of peace had arrived. 

i'm free.

   it made her want to leap with joy like the birds in rio—trapped in cages of their own life, and managing to escape through the airplane, similar to how she escaped through the cherry blossom tree. she was forever grateful for the tree planted outside her window.

   "welcome to suribachi city," said the voice over the speaker, as the doors cluttered open again. she stepped out and marveled at how differently she saw it now.

┕━☽【❖】☾━┙

   remembering that she almost joined the sheep, she decided to go look for chuuya. but first, a shelter for the night. the ginger was definitely out doing mori's request. soon enough, she stumbled upon a cave full of moss flooring. "jackpot!"

   she pulled out the small blanket and pillow she packed, laying it across the moss. this will have to do for now until she can find chuuya. the sheep would take her in.

   the girl thought of dazai. what would he do? would he track her down to the ends of earth, like the CLOUD? would she have to escape to the extraordinary world of her dreams? now the thought chilled her skin. the sudden course of panic was an adrenaline that disturbed her sleep.

it'll be alright. i'm not near them anymore. i'll be safe.

would dazai look in suribachi city?

   he definitely will, she realized. i tried to run away with chuuya. he'll know i'm headed to suribachi city.

no time to sleep, i need to find chuuya, now.

   quickly, she shot up from her resting spot and repacked her blanket and pillow. i have to go. this place isn't safe.

i need to go to kawasaki.

but i have to try and get into the sheep first.

   her mind started to blur, and her nails dug into her skin. the urge to draw blood with the thin, sharp stick was unnatural. drops of sweat ran down her neck and hands.

   i'm not important enough for him to try and find me, she realized with relief. the near-panic attack was over.

time to find the sheep.

   but she was fatigued. she sat back down and tried to calm her strivingly starved stomach. the motion cramp was getting to her. perhaps it was just her feeling unwell. [name] rubbed a bit of stomach ointment on her belly button and waited for the pain to subside.

it'll be fine, she told herself.

i hope.

┕━☽【❖】☾━┙

   dazai had left the port mafia's headquarters to sneak into [name]'s house. no reason. he just wanted to... well, visit her. the instinct bubbling inside him was yelling that something was wrong, and he needed to prove it.

   he turned left and headed onto her street, passing arrays of similar houses when he noticed the large mansion towering over him, gates and all, like a video game final boss. the brunette gingerly started to climb over the gates.

   "facial ID?" he muttered, stopping to pull out a photo of [name]'s mother he had taken inside the closet for this exact reason. he held it before the camera, and the gates creaked open. oddly, the atmosphere was reminding him of that "luigi's mansion" game he played a while back. he started to climb the cherry blossom tree stationed outside of the girl's room and pulled the window open.

   her room was silent. not even the nightlight was on, blazing in all of its usual glory. the room looked... deserted.

just where was she?

   dazai cautiously opened the door, creeping down the vast hallway full of gorgeous paintings; landscapes, and little drawings. the house was empty, like no such thing as a soul ever stepped foot inside. he went downstairs. perhaps she was just getting a midnight snack, like the time he stayed over at her house and found her late at night, looking tired and nerve-racked.

   an unfamiliar feeling crept into his body, blood vessels and all.

   nobody was downstairs. had she been taken hostage? kidnapped?

he flipped the red suicide book open, revealing 'blank' pages of THE BOOK.

   tomorrow is the day i meet odasaku, he thought, reading off of it. he searched in curiosity for [name] to see if he could locate where she was. just out of curiosity, not like he was worried about her or anything.

   as he hastily screwed himself up over the pages, he realized that her name wasn't written anywhere.

her existence wasn't in the book.

what? he thought cautiously. why not?

did she exist at all?

   was she a ghost? a disturbed, lonely, soul? but others saw her and acknowledged her presence.

so just where was she.

   the panic started to take over. she was gone, off the map of the book's tracking.

"where is she?..." he uttered. his expression turned downward; crestfallen. worried, even.

[name] was gone.

just when he was starting to appreciate her existence, she up and left him.

   she left you, he thought to himself. it's alright. this was bound to happen. so why am i upset? he thought.

   he left the house and went back to the port mafia's headquarters with a blank expression on his face.

"organize a search party to find [name]," he commanded to his subordinates.

i'm gonna find you, and make sure you're safe while at that.

i just hope you didn't disappear for no reason.

END OF NOTEBOOK 1.