Dear Beezus

Chapter 4: Her New Brand

Chapter 4: Her New Brand

"Wonderin' if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life."
-Taylor Swift (I don't wanna live forever)

"You totally dodged a bullet, Bitch," I told myself when I woke up after a night of heavy drinking, just two days post-breakup. I survived his worst, and now I know I'll survive his drought. Every day without him makes it clearer: it's time to let go, move on, and get the love I deserve. I started hitting the scene more, living it up. I even went camping alone, surrounded by couples. They were busy at midnight, their moans echoing around me, intensifying my loneliness. Yet, I reminded myself that not all is as it seems; behind the façade of bliss, there may be deceit. Some relationships appear beautiful from the outside, but only the couple knows the truth. Behind closed doors, there's often more drama than meets the eye. That's why people get shocked when seemingly happy couples split; they don't see the fights and apologies. But behind closed doors, there are also moments of supposed 'love' in toxic relationships—sorrys, I-love-yous, pleas not to go. People don't get how tough it is to cut ties; it took me years, but I finally did it. Dodged that bullet.

Alright, Beezus. I see you're giving me that look, like I hooked up with a stranger and now I'm the grimiest person alive. But honestly, I don't even know what went down. I blacked out, hit the head, and bam! Woke up in some random bed!

The second I clocked that I screwed up, I grabbed my sandals and plotted my escape. Figured it'd be smooth sailing since no one was around. But when I swung the door open, there he was! Juggling four Starbucks cups, looking totally shocked. And hey, he's kinda cute and familiar.

"Oh, hi," he said.
"I want to say hello, but I think I'd better leave."
"Oh, okay," he said, looking kinda confused. We swapped spots – he hopped in, I hopped out. Then I eyed his coffee. Damn, it looked good.
"Can I have one?"
"Coffee?" Can you stop being confused, please?
"Yup? Is that okay?" Don't even know where I got the guts to ask.
"S-sure." So I grabbed one. Took a sip, and damn, it was hot. Still played it cool though.
"Oh, it's still hot."
"Too late for that." Should've said it earlier.
"Why'd you buy four? Gonna knock 'em all back?" I asked, taking another sip.
"Oh no, my friends are coming over."
"Oh, so this one's..."
"Oh no, it's cool. I'll just skip breakfast."
"Coffee? Breakfast? You don't eat anything for breakfast?"
"Yup, is that weird?"
"Nah, totally get it. That's me."
"Nice."
"Um, I'd better go."
"Yup."
"Yeah, thanks for the coffee."
"No worries."
"Bye."
"Bye."

I take two awkward steps, wondering if I'm making the right exit or just making things cringier. Should I ask him what went down last night or just pretend it never happened? And he's still not shutting the damn door. Is he watching me walk away?

"Oh, 'bout last night," he said. I stopped. That caught me off guard. "You remember what went down last night?" I turn around when he said this.

"Last night? Oh, um, yeah. I don't mind. It's whatever." Then I turn around and keep on walking. I heard him say, "Okay, then. Bye." Then I heard the door close. What's up with me? Who's that dude? What happened last night? It's like I don't wanna know, but I'm low-key curious. This'll haunt me forever if I don't ask—or it'll mess me up if I find out.

I went back and started knocking on his door, and there he was, waiting. He just swings the door open with this big grin.
"I knew you'd come back" he says, smirking.
"What happened last night?" I ask.
"Wanna come in?"
"No."
"Okay, this would take a few minutes."
"Just tell me what happened."
"Okay...so we bumped into each other by the comfort room."
"And then?"
"You puke on me." WTF. So embarrassing!!! "Then you're like 'I'll make it up to you,' and start trying to wipe it off."
"What did I mean by make it up to you?"
"Honestly, no clue what you were on about."
"Then how'd we end up here?"
"You passed out trying to find a tissue to clean the mess off my shirt. I tried to look for your friends, but it seems like you went there alone. Before passing out, you're blabbing about the lights dancing." Then he starts cracking up.
"Alright, cut the shit. Did we fuck?" He's shocked when I said this.