TELL ME MORE | aot various

chapter 3 - a sudden urge

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Levi let out a sharp exhale of breath, eyes thinning like a cat as he stared at his Commander.
Erwin Smith was a man who valued organisation and punctuality; practically acting as the embodiment of the both. But, as of late, Levi had noticed him moping around, not turning in work in time, and only ever being either in his office or his bedroom, even though the cadet inspection was tomorrow.

"Erwin." He quipped drly. Said man looked up from a sheet of paper, which he had been staring at for the past ten minutes. "Have you appointed anyone to go on the cadet inspections tomorrow?"
Erwin merely bit his lip, letting his head hang low as he thought over a response.
Levi clicked his tongue, feeling inclined to say something. "Maybe, you should go on this one, sir." He quickly proposed, unbending as his eyes never left the side of the older man, who sweated under his cold stare.

"Why do you say that, Captain?" He finally spoke up.

"Well." Levi started, glancing around the room. "A number of reasons."
Erwin let his eyebrows drop, having a feeling about what he was going to say next.
"Go on."
Levi internally groaned, forcing himself to walk around Erwin's desk until he stood right in front of him.
"You haven't been doing much work recently." He pointed out. "And I noticed that's because something is bothering you. Something perhaps linking to your daughter?"
Erwin froze, gaze finally flickering up to meet Levi's own, unamused one. "What I'm saying is, if you go tomorrow, you will be able to see how she's doing, put your mind at ease, as well as be able to scout out new recruits."
There was a moment of silence, before he let out a big huff.
"Just think about it, okay?"

Erwin watched as his subordinate left the room, before sliding back in his seat to open a draw. He felt around inside for a bit, clasping his fingers around a jade amulet, which was bestowed upon him after his appointment to Commander. The piece of jewelry was supposed to be a symbol of his hard work and efforts; something to be proud of and show off to the rest of the world.

"Dad!"
Erwins eyes flashed with suprise as a little girl came running to his arms. He lifted her easily, cradling her as her tiny hands grabbed at his uniform.
"Now that your King" She began, bringing the amulet which hung by his chest to her face. "Does it mean you will be very busy?"
Erwin chuckled, taking it from around his neck and placing it in her grasp.
"Not King. Commander." He corrected as she admired the jewel. "Yes. I'll have many soldiers to boss around."
There was a moment of silence before she spoke up again.
"Will you still have time for me Dad?"
Erwin let his jaw drop after hearing that question. He blinked, studying her innocent expression as she smiled at him sweetly. "You won't leave me, right?"
He quickly placed her on the ground, crouching down with his hands on her shoulders.
"I will never leave you Y/N." He said, bringing her into a close embrace. "I'm sorry you ever thought that. I'll try to be better." But the heartwarming interaction was suddenly interrupted by a scout soldier.
"Commander Smith, sir!"
He turned around, with you stood hiding behind his legs. "Shadis has called for you, sir."
He nodded, dismissing the soldier who dropped his salute before leaving.
"I won't be long, Y/N. Stay in the house until I'm back."
He ruffled your hair, as you hastily nodded, giving him an eccentric wave as he began to walk away.
"I love you, Dad!"

That was the first time he'd ever let his work come before you. It certainly continued to become a bad habit for long after that, making it one of the greatest regrets of his life.

"I love you, Dad!"

Dad. Was he really deserving of the title? He gave you life, but never really gave you the chance to live. Was he really worthy of calling himself your parent?
The amulet sat heavy in his hand as he questioned himself, looking with disgust at his reddened eyes through its reflection. The amulet wasn't a symbol of his determination or devotion. It was a symbol of the day he chose his priorities. And he now saw, that he had picked wrong.