𝓕 𝓞 𝓡 𝓖 𝓞 𝓣 𝓣 𝓔 𝓝

Bye bye friend....

"He said things to me I would never imagine him saying."

A time in the past: Polands POV, age 10

"Crybaby Poland, Poland is a crybaby, crybaby Poland, Poland is a crybaby"

The bullies mocked. They were saying awful things about me.

"What is a loser like you doing in Lightfare?! Go back to your own region crybaby!" I felt my heart shatter as I heard this. I cried as they bullied me. Maybe they were right and I am just a crybaby who can't handle anything without crying. What is my purpose?

I then saw a boy run towards the scene. It was a tall boy with glasses who was about my age, he had long but not very long hair.

"HEY KNOCK IT OFF JERKS!!" The boy yelled. The bullied looked at him and then laughed. "HA! Why should we be afraid of you?!" The boy bit a bullies hand and it caused blood to come gushing from it. The bullies stood there in shock as the one bleeding screamed in pain. They ran off

"Hey are you ok?" The boy asked me. "I-I'm fine now thank you...." I said. "That's good to hear, my name is Germany it's nice to meet you!" He said. I nodded. "Hello Germany"

(Present time: Polands POV)

I stared at my phone for hours just to see one text from Germany, all I needed was to see one text from him again. But as usual he never answered. I sighed and put my phone down, I'll just go to his apartment to see what's going on. I took the subway and went off.

I arrived at Germany's apartment and rang the doorbell a few times before he answered. "Hello Germany!" I said. "Oh it's just you Poland." He said. He looked very drained and tired. "I've been trying to reach you for the longest time, is everything alright?" I asked tilting my head slightly. "Just very busy, I don't have time for chitchat or anything right now." He said.

"But Germany! It's been so long since we've had a conversation or hung out with each other can't you just take a day off for once and make time for me and your family because they are worried sick about you!" I said yelling. "CANT YOU JUST UNDERSTAND I CANT MAKE TIME!! I HAVE NO TIME FOR FRIENDSHIP OR YOU SO CAN YOU JUST LEAVE?!! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!!" Germany howled. "GERMANY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I MISS YOU, YOUR FAMILY MISSES YOU, PEOPLE ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOU! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE BOOKS AND FACE REALITY!! YOU'RE NOT BEING A GOOD FRIEND!!" I spat.

"WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE A FRIEND TO YOU ANYMORE! YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND IN EXISTENCE AND I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHY I FOUGHT FOR YOUR LIFE I SHOULD'VE LET YOU DIE!! YOU HAVE NO POINT IN EXISTING AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR COMPLAINS!! YOU ARE A WORTH LESS PIECE OF GARBAGE WHO HAS NO PURPOSE, YOU DESERVE NO LIFE!!" After he yelled that it got deathly silent.....

I couldn't say anything. I wanted to cry so bad. He then sighed and told me to 'get out'. So that's what I did.

The rest of the day I felt heart broken, I felt depressed. I felt like the world was against me. I was sitting on the subway train riding back to my house. I was so deep in thought. I couldn't believe what he said to me, after all our years of friendship, my world went crashing down. As I looked at my phone he sent me very hateful messages. Then he blocked me. I was heart broken.

The moment I got home I crashed and cried for hours upon hours. I felt heartbroken, betrayed and sad so so sad.

I stayed like that for hours until there was no tears left to cry. Now I just feel numb. I'm realizing now I'm a terrible waste. And wastes need to be disposed of.

Broken. Numb. Sad. Angry. Die. Die.

I got up from my bed and walked to the kitchen. I took a knife and cut my arm over and over and over again. Until my arm looked like a bloody mess.

"Just keep cutting" I cut and cut more and more. I started to cut my other arm over and over again.

I collapsed to the floor and started crying. I dropped the knife but my arms looked horrible. I never thought I would get to a point where self harm was my only comfort.

I stood up and walked towards a cabinet in the kitchen. A cabinet full of alcohol, and I drank and drank and drank until I could barely feel anything anymore.

Alcohol made me feel sick but I felt good.

The next morning.

I had woken up, I felt very hungover.

"Damnit it's a Monday, I have to go to university and pretend everything is fine. I have to act like the happiest person alive." I sighed.

I went to the bathroom, showered, brushed my teeth, put some bandages on to cover my scars, put a hoodie to hide the bandages, went downstairs ate breakfast and then I was off.

Long boring classes. I just wanted to go home this hangover is killing me.

It was break period and I just ran to the bathroom and threw up. After that was over with I flushed the toilet and went to wash my hands. I felt so numb but I had to pretend everything is fine. I had to pretend everything is just fine and I'm happy.

Which I had no problem doing in the past because I was actually happy and I was able to keep all this negativity away, but now I've become a hopeless case.

I walked out of the bathroom to be met by Czechia. He smiled and waved at me before running along with Hungary.

I couldn't even bring myself to smile anymore. What's the point? I'm a hopeless, worthless person who deserves nothing more than death and misery. I hate everything, I hate myself. I hate too see people happy while I'm suffering! I hate too see people suffering and expect me to help them when they don't even bother to listen to me!

I hate life I hate mother fucking life!! The thoughts in my head are telling me to commit suicide. I want to commit suicide, but I can't. What will my friends think when they hear I'm dead? How would they feel? They would be so sad and disappointed.....

What the fuck is life anymore.

Why the hell am I still even alive. I'm an idiotic joke to this world. A puppet who's only purpose is to be dragged around by strings I don't even pull. And the world is the stage to watch me get dragged. To watch me rot away.

What is life.

I should go talk to someone or maybe call a suicide hotline. No I don't want to do that shit.

Break period ends and it's time for the last few periods of the day. Once that's over with I go home.

I make it too my house and I collapse on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

All I could say now is....

"Bye bye friend, thanks for being there with me through my hardest times. Thank you so much Germany"

MY ACCOUNT GOT SUSPENDED FOR TWO DAYS!!! THAT MESSED UP MY WHOLE WRITING SCHEDULE!!!!

Ahem...

(Authors notes: hello everyone and welcome to my new book! So as you can see if you read this book is going to be a dark one. Suicide, self harm, violence, substance abuse, self sabotage etc. some of these chapters are gonna be based off song specifically sad songs. and some of these chapters are going to be just based off my imagination. I hope you'll enjoy this story. Slow updates might occur because I'm working on two stories at once now since this book is out now. And the last drop of gold is my main story I'm working on. So bare with me. I am trying to update faster again but yea. Bye bye)

<< edit: the last drop of gold has been discontinued and unpublished.>>