2ISGREATER

HALLUCINATIONS

I keep seeing him. Everywhere. Mocking me by being close, yet too far to take action. Everyone thinks I'm crazy. The police won't stop visiting me. I'm sick and tired of seeing them every single day.

6:00 I wake up. He's staring just out from my window. I wait for him to go away. Sometimes I sit in bed until 12:00. And I won't get food.

If I get up on time it is 7:30. I sit and eat breakfast. I watch the news to see weather. Our news station is a bit scuffed. But it helps.

8:45 I go to work. They tell me to take my pills and go back home. They pay me for showing up anyhow. I just want to work, I don't care about the money. I hate being trapped at my house.

9:00 I'm back home.

13:00 After lunch I take a nap on my couch.

16:00 I wake up again, and I go out to get groceries. Even just a few things. The employees at the stores get concerned at seeing me every day, but I want an excuse to be out in the open. I still see him, but he can't corner me in the stores. I spent hours there. I do my best not to show I'm scared.

19:00 I get home. I refuse to take my medicine. I try but every time I think they're going to poison me. I dispose of the pill in my sink. I know what they want me to think, and I'm not having it.

22:00 I go to bed. He stands in the corner of the room until I fall asleep. Sometimes he says things. I don't understand a word of it.

That's my usual schedule. It's not the worst. My friend Mike, who works at the hardware store, a co-worker of mine, is the only one who knows I don't take my pills. I trust him. He's been nice to me since forever. I enjoy his friendship greatly. He seems to understand me better than anyone else does.

I still don't know how to feel about Smith getting attacked. I panicked at that moment. And I'm deeply grateful he recovered... But now I don't know how I feel. I haven't talked to him in months. I don't think I would care by now if he had lost his life. I'm not saying I want him dead, but I just... Can't will myself to care about him right now. I sometimes see him walking out and about. From outside my windows. He doesn't ever see me. I don't think this counts as stalking.

He's only spotted me once outside, from the trees. I think I scared him. I don't know why. He's buying cameras for his house though. I've seen him with those. I wonder what he's so worried about. I understand he almost died, but I can safely say I'm in more danger. I still see them inside my house and outside. I don't need security to know that.

I think I need to go to his house soon and talk with him about it. I haven't been the best friend for the past week. On another note, the police keep trying to get me to talk. It's tiring. I don't think I will. I don't have time, and they aren't forcing me. Probably because they know it's not a good idea- I.. I'd probably end up attracting my 'friend'. They'd have to lock me in a box and force me to take my medicine. How cruel is that? I know for sure the pills won't work. And they're terrible. I keep chewing them by accident when I take them.

This writing is good for my peace of mind. I think I'll do some more later. Maybe I can get things straight in my head...
I'll make sure what's-her-face can't find this.

3/6/24