I know you know leeknow

Ch 40 winter falls

Hyunjin and leeknow walked in the streets, the silence was so loud. And grey clouds seemed to float overhead. At least to him.

Leeknow had his hands in his pockets and hyunjin nudged him gently. "Hey what's on your mind? Are you finally going to tell lover boy how you feel?" He teased but leeknow shot him a glare.
Hyunjin put his hands protectively in front of his face.
"Wow feisty!" He laughed.

Leeknow sighed. "Can we not talk about him right now..."
Hyunjin fell silent and they walked a bit longer.
"I wonder what this songs going to be like." He tilted his head. The group had been called to the practice room to go over a song Han had written.
He was nervous but he couldn't do anything to
avoid it.
"Just go easy on yourself okay?" Hyunjin patted his back as they entered the building.

Leeknow held his breath, opening the door.
the members were already sitting on the floor in a circle. Just like day one.

Felix who was next to Changbin gestured for hyunjin to join them, they scooted over to make room. Then came IN and Seungmin. Bangchan was next to han.
Leeknows mouth felt dry. Where do I sit?
Bangchan got up at the sight of leeknow
Leeknow shook his head quietly but Chan gave him a look that meant no arguing.

Leeknow hesitantly sat down next to han. The boy froze. Sitting cross legged on the floor their legs brushed, sending sparks through them both.
Leeknow but his lip. And looked away from han when he turned his head. How am I going to do this?

Bangchan walked over to the one and only laptop, and turned to the rest of the group.
"Han wrote a beautiful song to go towards the Christmas album we have planned farther down the road. I've been working with the lyrics to form a beat. Tell me what you think."
He pressed play.

A beautiful piano filled the space, slow but calming and a little sad. It was amazing and everyone was touched by the beautiful music.
Hans eyes watered, but when Leeknow looked over the boy wiped his face and turned away.

Leeknow felt a lump in his throat. Hannie... han looked so broken and alone. Despite sitting in the group. He had this sad aura and closed off body language. It wasn't right. A tear escaped down the boys cheek.

Leeknow knew it wasn't his place but he wanted so badly to comfort him.
He let his hand rest on the other boy's knuckles.
Han flinched and looked up at him, the melodious piano music in the background.

Hans eyes were glistening and leeknow felt his own eyes start to water as well.
He looked away but rubbed his thumb over Hans hand, who slightly leaned towards him.

Han gave him a small, heart wrenching smile and leeknow nodded. He swallowed when Hans head fell on his shoulder.

He felt his own breath grow shallow. it felt so right to be with him like this again. He could tell han thought so too. He hated himself for giving han so many mixed signals. But he just had to do something to make him smile again.

Suddenly the music ended and Bangchan folded his arms. He looked over at leeknow who was still holding hans hand. He raised an eyebrow but a smirk twitched on his face.

Leeknow looked down in embarrassment.

"Okay everyone here is the line distribution I came up with for this song and the melody. Han explain the melody." Bangchan gestured at Han who straightened up.

"It's got a bit high of notes but not over your range. Seungmin IN I think you're going to sound great in this one. L-leeknow-" he caught himself. "You as well." He stood up.

Han avoided looking at him while he explained and demonstrated the melody. Leeknow sighed, he could listen to Hans singing all day. It was so smooth and connected and he could just pull it out of nowhere.

Han sat down and everyone began practicing it on their own.

"I hope it turns out well." Han murmured most likely talking to himself. But leeknow brushed the youngers hair out of his eyes.
"You're song's always amaze us." He smiled forcefully.

Oh how I wish I could tell you sungie.
Han blushed slightly and nodded, still staring at the floor sadly. He seemed to feel as torn as leeknow was. And he hated that he was the reason.

Leeknow blinked. My part. Is really sad.
He glanced at Han. This song was how Han had been feeling. And the realization squeezed painfully at his heart.

After a while of practicing
The group was finally ready to try singing it.

Han began first with his beautiful falsetto. His voice slid up and down so well almost like a lullaby.
It started like a normal Christmas song talking about snow that evolved into a sad lonely boys tune.

Leeknow felt his heart drop with the impact of the lyrics. They were like a stab to the heart with each breath he took.

Han closed his eyes, feeling the emotion of the words and sang at a lower octave. "I repeatedly freeze and melt but now I've lost my warmth to something called regret."

Leeknows eyes widened at the poetic verse. He tried to swallow his guilt but with every line it just grew.
Changbins rap wasn't any less depressing and then jeongin came in with the chorus that made leeknows heart completely shatter.

"Winter falls, cleaner than anything. Falls. I'll erase everything in me that was you."

Bangchans verse described a lonely boys heart having to move on from someone who didn't feel the same.

"Please fall before I fall." Seungmin finished the chorus.
Leeknows breath hitched at the plea. He knew it was Seungmin singing but somehow it felt like Han was there begging on his knees.
"Please love me before I crumble."
He closed his eyes as more heartbreaking verses flooded his ears.

he couldn't feel his tongue as he sang his part. He just looked at Han. Han had pulled his knees to his chest, looking so vulnerable.
What have I done. Han didn't deserve to feel this way. Leeknow didn't deserve him.

This time han sang part of the hook, tearful eyes threatening to spill over at any moment.
"Will the season where I held you ever come back again?" He sighed, feeling the pain of the lyrics he had written.

Leeknow straightened up. Enough is enough.
Han didn't deserve this. Leeknow didn't deserve him. But it was leeknow that he wanted.

Without hesitation, leeknow grabbed Hans wrist.
Han gasped in surprise. "L-leeknow?" He blinked up at him through his thick lashes.

Leeknow felt a knot form in his stomach but pulled han to his feet anyway. He was going to end this once and for all.
Without another word, Leeknow adjusted his grip on  hans arm and pulled him out the door into the hall.
Changbin, hyunjin and Bangchan exchanged a relieved smile. Finally