Mafia Angel

19

Victor

So many times I've stood in front of a gun, training and putting my life on the line. Without thinking, without worries and regrets, without thinking about 'what' and 'if', without feeling even the slightest tremor of the heart, without succumbing to the impulse of adrenaline, with pure thought and consciousness I threw myself against the bullets and led my men forward. And I was surviving, winning, conquering. Because this is my life, kill or be killed, losing was not an option, it was not a way out.

My life was empty, its only meaning was fulfilling my duties and I was doing it well. I was my father's son, I followed his covenant, I lived like the monster he created, merciless and overfed, empty and unfeeling.

"Shit!" with one sweep I swept everything on the desk, grabbed the chair and swept it against the wall, breathing heavily, without taking my eyes off the pieces of wood that scattered on the carpet. "Damn bastard!" I looked around frantically, looking for the next victim of my wrath. "Calm down you bitch, you're not getting anywhere and you're scaring the girls!" Damien tried to grab me but he was too slow and I was too mad. Dominic jumped to his defense, but that only made me angrier.

"It's all your fault!" I roared and slammed my fist right into Damien's nose before Dominic could grab my arm. "You and the desire to be better than me!" I continued, trying to touch Damien's now bloodied face once more. "Victor!" Ophelia lunged in front of him, unsteadying me enough to find myself in Dominic's grasp. "Calm down,Vic!" he screamed, grabbing my armpits from behind and locking his fingers behind my neck.

"Victor!" Christina stood in front of me and cupped my face, Simon stood behind her, hovering over her head ready to protect her if I didn't hear her and tried to attack her. "Look at me,Victor" she gripped my face tighter and pulled my head towards her, staring straight into my eyes. "Elena and the baby need you,Victor" Christina began slowly and controlled and I let out a hopeless howl of helplessness. "You need to calm down, now you are a husband and a father, your wife and your child need you, your strength and experience in such situations" she continued and I snapped at her like an angry dog.

"I know you love Elena, Victor, I also know that most of us are useless right now, that you probably don't trust us and don't even want to look at us, but we're here to help in any way we can, Victor, so please "for the sake of Elena and your son, calm down!" she raised her voice, but what caught me off guard was the slap that sent my head spinning hard to the side and the sharp gasp of air before I sagged in Dominic's arms.

My anger drained out and I glared at her again. I looked down and watched as Simon wrapped his arms around Christina and pulled her a little further away from me, I watched as her body pressed against his, the protective way his fingers dug into her stomach, as she lifted her head back, smiled at him and covered his hand with her palm, a manner similar to the one Elena had when I held her like that.

I took a deep breath and let it out, closed my eyes and tried to put my thoughts and feelings in order. I can't, no matter how hard I try, closing my eyes I see only Elena, her smile, her face, her look full of love and trust when she looks at me. A trust that I betrayed, I failed and now only God knows how my wife and child are doing.

"Let him go, Dominic" I opened my eyes and now Ophelia was standing in front of me. Her gaze shifted from me to Dominic, she nodded and his grip on my neck relaxed. "Come on, Victor" she spread her arms and I looked at her as if suddenly I'm not the one who's raging in anger, but she's the one who's totally out of her mind. "Come on" she urged me and I looked up looking around at Christina, Simon and Damien who just shrugged. "Oh, for God's sake, come here!" Ophelia huffed and I found myself bent over, wrapped in her arms, patted on the back like I was a child in need of reassurance, hating the fact that it was working.