The water in Majorca

Chapter 8

 Noah had thought his Mum had lost her mind when he woke up to find her scrubbing the bathroom tiles with a toothbrush.
"What are you doing?" He asked, confused and already halfway out of the door to fetch Sarah when Charity finally glanced over her shoulder to answer him.
"Have you seen the state on these walls? Limescale everywhere" She replied, her voice echoing around the room as she remained crouched on her knees inside the bathtub.
It was almost too early to be considered morning but she couldn't sleep. Too many thoughts had kept her awake for the majority of the night, and once the sun had started to rise, she was no longer able to hide away under the cover of darkness.
"I don't know anyone who could wash in here and get out actually feeling clean" She uttered, scrubbing furiously at the perfectly white grout.
"What are you doing?" Sarah asked.
Charity sighed, sensing a pattern of annoying questions, knowing all too well that the kids weren't going to be palmed off with half truths and fake smiles.
"I need you to leave me alone for a bit today, please" is all she had to answer with.
Noah opened his mouth to challenge her, but Sarah nudged him before his words could form and break the silence in the air.
"Okay. There's a playpark on the grounds of the sister hotel. We'll take Moses off your hands for a couple of hours" Sarah said.
Charity nodded and busied herself with scrubbing again until all three children were dressed and out of the room. She listened as their voices grew quieter as they strolled down the corridor then collapsed in on herself, gasping for breath as a wave of emotion passed through her.

Outside of the extreme cleaning she had inflicted upon the bathroom, was the pristine bedroom she had already spent two hours tidying.
Her dirty clothes were folded neatly and packed away, she'd even unravelled the cord of the travel iron and had given all of her clean tops a once over, and hung them in the wardrobe. The balcony door was pulled wide open and so were the curtains, causing the hem of each one to dance in the gentle breeze that blew in from across the ocean. Everything was put away. A wet wipe had cleaned up every surface. The bedsheets were tucked in. The pillows were fluffed and propped up against the headboard. Moses' teddy bear sat dead centre between the scatter cushions and the bedside table was cleared off and possessed only the lamp and telephone.
Once everything was in its rightful place and the bathroom was spotless, Charity stripped herself of her pyjamas and stepped under the shower.
The water was lukewarm and ran from the top of her head, down over her face and dripped off the tip of her nose. Her tears were easily disguised amongst the droplets that coursed down her body and swirled away into the drain. But the tears weren't for Vanessa. The blonde was only partly to blame. It was because she felt like she was losing herself that she couldn't help but cry.
For so long, Charity had had a heart of stone, unbeating and cold when it came to romantic feelings. She had fun, she laughed, she had sex and she moved on to the next person with no blurred lines or lingering doubt. But now she could feel the ice melting in her veins.
She'd felt happy, light and free in Vanessa's presence, but when they were apart there were nagging thoughts in the back of her mind.
'I wonder what she's doing now?'

'I wonder what she would think?'
'I wonder if she likes me?'
This had never happened before and it was confusing, and she was tormenting herself, trying to work out why.

Why now?

Why Vanessa?

With the kids gone, Charity wasn't quite sure what to do with herself. She was exhausted but past the point of sleep and she didn't really want to lay down with her thoughts circling her mind. She was afraid that if she spent too much time inside her head that she may never escape. So, she quickly dressed and headed out of the room.
The lobby smelled like bleach. The cleaners had just mopped the marble tiles and they were now so clean that Charity could see her entire reflection staring back up at her.
To her left, was a notice board that was filled with leaflets advertising day trips and shopping centres. She had no intention of going to any of the places printed upon them but because they were free she took a couple and stuffed them into her bag so that she had something to read and occupy herself with.
The day bar had opened minutes ago and seemed cool and quiet, besides the overhead air conditioning vent that was humming to itself.
There was a new face behind the bar today. A young girl who looked as though she was fresh out of school. She had dark hair and dark eyes and a quiet simmering mood to match. When she looked up from the coffee machine and caught Charity's eye, she didn't smile or over exaggerate a friendly welcome, she just nodded slightly and got on with her job. Charity appreciated the peace and sat herself down at a table far across the room.
A waiter who had been laying the other empty tables, strutted past and slipped her a plastic coated menu. He smelled good, not too much aftershave and just a subtle hint of soap.
Most of the items on the menu were free to all inclusive guests, all Charity had to do was flash her wristband and she could order whatever she wanted. But as of that moment, she just fancied a strong cup of coffee and a slice of toast.
An elderly couple came in just as she finished eating. The gentleman pulled out a seat for his wife before settling in his own chair. Charity watched them as they chuckled and smiled at one another, reliving an inside joke or fond memory as they relaxed.
Charity wasn't sure if she hated them or envied them. They must have been at least seventy something with decades worth of marriage under the belt. They probably had children and grandchildren and a mortgage free house with a garden full of flowers. Everything that Charity didn't see for her own future. She feared that she would get to their age and still be alone, pulling pints in The Woolpack and wishing she had had the capability to feel something. She sighed as her heart groaned in her chest. She did feel something. Something new and scary that she wished would disappear.
She had royally screwed things up with Vanessa. If she hadn't gotten so drunk she may have been able to explain herself better, get Vanessa back on side for the rest of the holiday. Instead, she made things worse by trying to fabricate how she really felt, protecting herself with lies and half truths. There was no wonder she had stormed off and left her.
Half a cup of coffee sat in her mug but she could no longer stomach it. She'd skimmed through the leaflets and slotted them back inside her bag. Half of the information had been in Spanish, French and German, leaving little English for her to actually read through.
Some of the trips did actually look quite nice though. There were trips to vineyards, hot air balloon rides, gothic churches and caves. If she'd been in a better mood she'd like to have taken the opportunity to book one of them and do some exploring. But she wasn't in a better mood. And the more she saw the besotted old couple gazing lovingly into one another's eyes, the more she wanted to jab at her own with the butter knife on the table.