The Story of Us

Chapter 4

A story has to go somewhere, right?

Well, this was essentially the first page sheep boy and I started on. Yes, we know his name is Harry; but keep in mind, I didn't think to take his wallet out for that information before checking him over – or after I punched him. It had been three years since I was a surgeon's assistant.

Cut me some slack. I'm easily stressed and overly excited. Believe me when I say; I'd of rather have read the entire series of Twilight than deal with this train wreck of a situation.

Scratch that, hand me the Spanish version. It would probably sound more exciting.

Oh Edward, Como Eustatic – I cannot read Spanish, I cannot type Spanish, I cannot speak Spanish. I would have a blast destroying that series with my imagination. You could say, it would become a much better version of itself.

Edward – I found out that was Harry's middle name.

Fate hates me and my own idioms. This is not Twilight by any stretch, because if it was; sheep boy would have been able to fall from that cliff and land on his feet. He would not be hurt, but unfortunately; I'd still be out here dragging two goats back.

No, I didn't kill them. They just weren't budging. After two weeks trying to capture their goat butts, yours truly finally succeeded! Gold star for me.

"Meaaaaaahhhhhh." One complained, dragging its hoofs on the cold rocky terrace.

That one would be Bob.

Bob hates following orders.

I pulled a little harder; he wasn't giving up and neither was I.

"You're in luck, Bob. I have a man back at the cave who can probably translate that, but I have to warn you; you're dinner either way. Come on!" I begged tugging the rope, making little headway and I'm thinking the man was slightly easier to get home than the goats.

"Meeeeeeeeh." The other one sounded.

I wish I could understand the conversation.

"Baaaaaaaaah." I tried.

They were looking at me – I think. Their eyes sort of went sideways.

"Listen, if you two don't pick it up? I'm going to put you two under my arms and carry you. Get it together! I have an injured humanoid back at the cave and you guys are not making it any easier! Sort of like the fish today. Nature hates me or I suck at surviving."

At least the goats were fantastic listeners. They didn't interrupt once.

Sadly, they still weren't gonna budge. It was a mile back.

I needed food!

"You two better double step. Right now!" I yelled, my voice drowning out halfway because of the wind. It was starting to flurry and soon, the landscape would be one blanket of beautiful white.

I don't really know what made me do it, but you know how you smack a misbehaving child on the butt to get their attention?

Or at least that's the way it was three years ago. Who knows anymore?

I held onto the rope, walked behind the goats and gave them a good hard slap on the ass.

Well; needless to say that worked. Maybe even too well, because now instead of me dragging them, they were dragging me. Who cares though, we were moving! Good old-fashioned parenting skills!

Works every time.

We reached back home in less than ten. I mean, they were moving like Santa's reindeers on a tight schedule.