Chapter 20: Godless

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Dragunov made them come back to the Black Rabbit. If he's at all concerned about his disobedience, he doesn't show it, and Kalkaska genuinely doesn't expect him to. He most likely doesn't even consider what he's done to be disobediences. But Zodiac is a detail kind of person. In reality, the most common reason either one of them gets punished is because Zodiac specifically created a scenario where they would inevitably fail. Sort of like an extremely sadistic college professor.

Kalkaska is exhausted and sore, because—of course—Dragunov wanted to fuck again last night, since no one was there to monitor them. And then drowsily demanded morning sex. He keeps going on about how he wanted Kalkaska from the moment he laid eyes on him, and Kalkaska wishes that he would stop talking. This relationship is unsustainable. As much as he loves Kasey, there's little hope for them.

So it's a relief when he gets a text from Jeongguk asking him to meet in his suite; it finally gives Kalkaska an excuse to untangle from the pile of limbs and blankets they've made on the bed. The surveillance equipment set up in their suite has been long since forgotten, their monitors displaying images from downstairs in the casino to no one who cares. Kalkaska changes his clothes, despite knowing it's useless. Jeongguk will see the marks on his neck and know immediately who did it, and, for some reason, that's the most disappointing thing of all. That he broke the only rule Jeongguk ever gave him.

He shuffles down the hallway to Jeongguk's suite, knocks twice on the door, then lets himself in. Jeongguk is barely dressed—only wearing an oversized t-shirt. No makeup, nothing else. He looks tired. As tired as Kalkaska feels. As expected, Jeongguk's eyes zero in on the hickies.

"I see you've been busy," he comments, raising an eyebrow.

Kalkaska declines to respond, taking a seat on the other end of the couch and folding his hands in his lap. "What did you need me for?"

Jeongguk narrows his eyes, but ultimately decides not to pursue whatever line of questioning he'd been considering, and Kalkaska is grateful. "I've been thinking about some things," he says. "Do you remember when I asked you to look into the disappearance of a woman named Lee Jiyeon?"

It takes a few moments to place the name, but Kalkaska eventually connects it to Jeongguk's suspected missing aunt. "Yes, I remember."

"Do you remember any details of your investigation?"

"They're a little fuzzy," Kalkaska admits. "A lot has happened since then."

"...Does Zodiac know about it?"

"Yes." And he hates the way Jeongguk's expression drops. "I couldn't—There was nothing I could do, Jeongguk. If he wanted to know, then I had to tell him—"

Jeongguk hastily shakes his head, waving him off. "I know. It isn't your fault." Heaving a heavy sigh, he slumps down in his seat. "I'm sure you know things are very rapidly going to shit."

Kalkaska just nods.

"I wouldn't think poorly of you if you left," Jeongguk says. "Honestly, I've about had it, too. But Jimin isn't ready to back out yet, so I'm kind of stuck. You aren't, though, so if you wanna go... just pack your shit and go."

As always, the idea of escape raises conflict.

When he was first captured, escape was the only thing he thought about. Getting out of that musty basement, getting away, getting back home. It consumed him.

And then one night, Zodiac asked him, "Why do you want to leave so badly?"

To which Kalkaska had simply stared at him incredulously, as if he had just imagined the tortured he'd experienced at the hands of this kid.

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