"I love you."
Jeongguk's voice draws him from the hazy doze he's been floating in for the past several minutes. The water is still warm and comfortable, smelling pleasantly of lavender bath salts and rose soap. But before Jimin can gather himself to respond, Jeongguk continues.
"You don't—have to say it back," he says stiltedly. "I... just... felt like I needed to say it. I care about you. I love you."
Zodiac left with the alpha he came with not too long ago, and Jimin wanted to shower, because having someone else's scent on him like that made him feel... uncomfortable. Not that he didn't enjoy their little session, because he did—Jeongguk, and even Zodiac, made him feel wanted. They both took pleasure in his body the way it was; no snarky comments about things they wish were different. But now it's over and Jimin feels strangely detached. Like standing in an empty house after a wild party, looking at all the garbage littering the floor, bottles on the counter, the displaced furniture. The evidence of fun. But Jimin is glad Jeongguk suggested a bath instead, because soaking with his mate is much, much more soothing.
"Maybe it's stupid, but you're really the best thing that's ever happened to me," Jeongguk goes on. "You're so... pure. I know you feel like you aren't because of things you've done or thoughts you've had, but that's not what I mean. It's like when you've been using stuff that's been cut with shit for years cos it's cheaper, and then you get ahold of something pure for the first time and it's the best fucking high you've ever experienced. Suddenly, that other shit doesn't do it for you.
"There's just this... hole I've been trying to plug, ever since I was a kid. I can pretend that I'm someone like Zodiac as much as I want, but I'm just... not. I feel. I'm scared and hurting all the time, and violence is the only thing I have to protect myself anymore. To make myself feel powerful. I want people to hear my name and cower because that's how Haneul has made me feel my whole life. The people I've surrounded myself with are like... fillers. Y'know? Fillers for Haneul, with that same kind of ability to make me scared. Over and over. And I keep trying to please them, and you know what? None of them fucking love me. None of them ever have, because I'm not the same as they are, as much as I try to pretend that I am. But you aren't like them. You're just... you. You didn't crumble when I tried to intimidate you."
Jimin sighs softly, reaching up to run his wet hand through Jeongguk's damp blondish hair. "I think it's alright that you aren't that kind of person," he murmurs.
"You don't make me feel like I have to be that way. Cold. Untouchable." Jeongguk's arms slide around his waist, tugging their bodies together under the water, Jimin half onto his lap. "I want you to know me. I want to know you. Your dreams, your interests, the people in your life... I wanna be stupid and normal and boring with you."
"What happened to hating the paperwork world?" Jimin asks teasingly.
Jeongguk laughs softly, shrugging. "We can be domestic criminals."
"Just what my mother always wanted for me," he replies. "Swindling money from the craps table and coming home to a freshly cooked meal by my alpha."
"You don't even know how to play craps."
"Guess you'll have to teach me."
"Oh no. No, no. You've done quite enough gambling," Jeongguk chides. "I'm gonna have to put a limit on you."
Jimin flicks a little bit of water at him. "Are you insinuating that my luck is, in fact, really shitty?"
"No, not at all. There's this thing called quitting while you're ahead. That's when you don't give in to the temptation to place a fortress of money on twenty-three on the roulette table to see if you can win a little bigger. You pocket your shit and get out before you burn a hole in your wallet."
