Relapse

Chapter 10

Chapter 10: (I'm so sorry for putting Sam in a bad lighting here lol)

What the fuck have I done I think as I sit down till I'm crouching looking at the mess of broken glass. I have to clean this shit up. I put my hands behind my head and lock them together. I stand up and attempt to wipe off the majority of the tears.

I collect myself and walk back into the party. I spot Sam and walk over to him. He is Colby's best friend and they have managed not to fuck it up after years of being friends. Sam basically knows his whole house by heart and I decide to ask him where the broom is. (sorry that sounds silly but I couldn't find a better word)

"It's in the long cabinet over there, why?" He questions. "I just accidentally smashed a vodka bottle, nothing special." I say trying to sound as calm as possible. I grab the broom and walk as fast as I can back outside before Sam stops me. "Tara, wait" he says "have you been crying?". He could see it, couldn't he? I would guess it's quite obvious, I haven't looked to see how bad my makeup looks because someone decided to fucking kiss in the bathroom.

"No, I'm fine. Everything's fine. Everything is fucking fine! It's even PERFECT, everything works out so damn well for me!!" I scream at him, deep breaths, deep. fucking. breathes. Tears are flooding down my face. "Tara please, what is wrong? I'm sure we can figure out a solution." He says, I know he's trying to comfort me but I don't want his help, I don't want him to feel petty for me. He can just go fuck himself with that perfect best friend.

"It's gonna be fine, come on, it can't be that bad. You're probably just overreacting." He says. "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!?!" I scream even louder at him than last time. "Calm down Tara. You can talk to me." He tells me. "I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have screamed at you like that." "No it's fine. Just- just tell me what happened?"

"It's just that everything has been going so shitty lately. Jake isn't my fucking boyfriend anymore. Neither Jake or Johnnie wants to talk with me, I fucking broke up with him because I thought it was lost feelings even though I didn't. I fucking messed up everything.." I say. I look up at him wondering what he will answer but instead of saying anything he walks me over to the outdoors sofa and holds me.

I begin crying again because what have I done. "Shhh it's okay Tara, it's okay" he says as I hulk "at least you still have me." He says comforting me. I feel safer in his arms, isolated from everyone and everything that is happening around me. I lay my head on his chest and hear the calming beats of his heart.

*Johnnie's perspective*

Jake is freaking out, Tara just walked in on us making out and he isn't exactly taking it well. I can't blame him, he is probably still sad about their breakup. He isn't crying but I can tell he's holding back tears.

"Fuck, this was so fucking stupid. We shouldn't have done that. Tara is probably crying now because of us. What the fuck was I thinking? We literally said earlier today that we wanted to keep this down and not be too public about it, and my stupid ass decides to pin you to the wall at a public restroom! I didn't even bother to lock the fucking door. Like why am I this stupid?!" Jake screams.

He isn't about to cry as i thought earlier but instead it's like he's boiling with anger inside of him. Sometimes I wonder if he is the emotional one and not me because he often overthinks shit a LOT. I remind myself I literally look straight out of a MySpace post. I think I'm a bit more emo, as well as the fact I still have fucking scars.

Enough about me, I need to comfort the guy I front of me who turned me. He looks as he's about to explode on the spot. Jake isn't good with situations that don't go his way or aren't planned like he intended.

"Jake. It's going to be fine i promise!" I say as I hug him tightly.