"Do you think I'm insane?" Five Hargreeves X reader

176 cracks in the wall

(Y/n POV)

176.

There were 176 cracks in the wall today. There were only 156 cracks yesterday. Weird.. I hate this place. There's nothing to do. I've been here for 34 years now. Would you believe me if I told you I look 13? I know. Mental. Insane. Guess that's why I'm here. Locked in a stone cold room that is made from stone. How's that for insane?

Every day I count the cracks and see how many more there are each day. There's always more added because the man next door to me keeps throwing himself at the wall. Oh well. They said they're going to move him soon. Probably to the last room you see before you..

I wonder how long it's been since..

I don't know..

I've lost track of the days..

There's so many 4 lines in a row crossed out all over the concrete walls and floor and ceiling and bed frame and windows.

Why the fuck am I here?

I've been smashing my fist against the wall for the past 34 years.

There's blood stains in one space on the wall near the door.

It's starting to bleed..

My knuckles hurt..

There's stones stuck to my knees and hands from crawling on the floor..

I'm not insane..

I'm not insane.

I am not insane.

I am not insane!

Am I not insane?

Am I insane..?

You'd think I would be, having spent so long here without human interaction apart from when the doctors come in to force me to eat.

Sitting facing a wall and talking.

They say i mumbled too much.

Do you think I'm insane?

What if I am?

Strapping me down to the table with leather and metal.

I feel a familiar pain piercing into my blood stream.

Lights are flashing.

My blood feels cold but warm at the same time.

My hands and legs are so cold..

I think I've lost circulation..

Will I walk?

Will I crawl?

Will I break?

Who knows..

But I've been used to this before..

It hurts, it stops, it feels worse and then I feel numb.

Time is way do tricky to mess with. That's something I know..

Or else I wouldn't look 13..

Yes my body isn't aging.

My mind is though.

They think that's the medicines fault.

Come on. Don't take credit for my mistake..

October..

Why do I remember October?..

I know my name.

I know my age.

Im y/n..

I'm 56.

Help..

Look this way..

I'm banging on the glass..

On the metal door with bars and spikes..

There's 176 cracks on the wall.

Soon there'll be none..