Dark Reveries and Other Reflections

Capítulo sem título 3

Your flesh is decaying, along with the world. Now, a world that was already rotten, what remains? Nothing but decay, extending no further than cowardice and ignorance.

People blinded by their own reflection in a dirty puddle, a sewage that confuses itself with your disturbed image. Beauty is something that eludes your perception, science escapes you.

In the air, a fragrance of blood and urine lingers; beggars celebrate a feast of rats poisoned to death.

Wonderful is this black sky, bringing memories of your sordid and macabre smile. Yes, from your eyes, a flickering glow reminds me of the nefarious fire that once burned my feeble flesh.

Yes, oh yes, these crimson lips of yours, soft flesh, a gift from the muses of madness. Tremendous is the power to seduce poor men. A man I was, foolish to say; my suffering I brought upon myself. I went into your arms, enveloped in your enlightening warmth, gave my affection, my love, and my guiding faculty.

And you, like the angel you were, reaped my soul, along with the heart, took myself from me, left, and never seen again, I even forgot what you took away. Was it me? Or just an idea of myself?

Nevertheless, how could I hate, in what way utter curses, and in such a manner commit blasphemies to your name? Well, I don't know, after all, you took my heart.

I can't cry, can't laugh, not even look back, yet I must move forward. Too tired to complain, can't feel pain, after all, I have no flesh, only bones.

This is what we are, a mix of three things, a piece of precarious flesh, a brief breath of life, and a small intelligence. Well, only two things are worldly; flesh decays, life fades, but your intelligence is genuine, unique, as long as you make it so.

What led you to smoke a cigarette for the first time? Well, what always leads you to do something for the first time? Ah yes, I remember, the reason is the same; she's brunette, sharp-eyed, hair as smooth as water, and yes, her warmth was psychoactive, drove you crazy. Nicotine on her lips. I remember, a mix of honey and cigarette. Her scent captivated me, like her legs wrapped around my body. Her nails cut my back, and her teeth my lips. However, being stubborn, I didn't let it slide; I pressed her against the wall like a lion stepping on a rat. Ironically, she loved it, and in the heat of the night, we became one. Although you left this bitter life by my side, your taste remains in my soul. Well, nicotine too.

In the midst of my loneliness, my return to the primordial self, I returned to worship the inhospitable moon alone in these dark streets. And as you don't see fish walking with wolves, the she-wolves came to me. However, I am no longer the same, no longer the black wolf. Now old and wounded, I seek a bone to gnaw, unfortunately, I only have stones to bite. I know it's my fault, yet I won't renounce my resolute morality; my chest is solid, my heart is icy. Your warmth left only coal inside.

Unhappy tale this, but the taste of the insane is my not-so-secret fetish, the challenge, the struggle, and the fight to conquer are my pleasure. Yes, the colder, the better, the harder and angrier. Just to have the pleasure of having them at my mercy. Now is the time for the villain to release his macabre and diabolical laughter, yes, what perversion, how abominable. Woe to me and my innocence, what they did to my kindness. Cursed, untamed destiny. Cruel reality that devours me.