When I Met You

Chapter 13 - Harper's POV

I felt like a bad friend, sneaking around with her boyfriend behind her back, but I couldn't stop. He was so intoxicating. The first time we hooked up I was way out of it, but all the other times, I had no valid excuse.

We'd meet up whenever Chelsea wasn't home or I claimed to be out 'with friends'. Sometimes she would start asking questions, but I would quickly dismiss it by changing the subject. The sessions became more frequent, the more Chelsea spent time with him. I wasn't sure how to take that, but I knew what we had was purely physical and nothing else. Everytime Chelsea denied him, I was his booty call. I could judge him though, because if I was with someone for over 2 years and we hadn't had sex I would be suspicious. Of course, I knew Chelsea's reasoning, but it's been 8 years. Yes, her father did despicable things to her, but at this point she needed to get over herself. Did she honestly expect Blake to wait around forever?

I knew he loved her still, even though he fucked me multiple times a week. Chelsea was always on his mind. Sometimes he would talk to me about her, asking for advice. I knew he was trying to act tough, but I could tell it tore him apart that his own girlfriend wouldn't sleep with him.

Somedays he'd ask if he was doing the right thing staying with her? Other times he'd tell me how desperately he wanted to propose. However, no matter what it was he was speaking from his heart. I just hoped someday someone would love me the way he loves Chelsea.

Over the break, Chelsea and I planned a few hangouts, but mostly she worked. I swear that girl never had time to do anything fun. When she wasn't working, she was sleeping or spending time with Blake. I practically begged her to allot a few days to relax. Two of those days we would be spending completely together. We bought tickets for an amusement park. I was so excited, because Chelsea always wanted to go when we were little, but her parents refused my parents' offers. The other day we would wind down, and have a girls' night in.

Wednesday, we were in the car driving the 2 hours it took to reach our destination. Chelsea and I were jamming out to our favorite childhood tunes. Everything was as it should be. Then, all of a sudden, the voice next to me sang a beautiful tune, shattering my heart.

"Well, you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missing home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go"

Passenger's "Let Her Go" was one of Chelsea's favorite songs to listen to when she was sad. The memory brought a strong pang of guilt as she sang the lyrics. Tears began to puddle in my eyes. I never really understood the pain embedded in this song before. As she sang that second verse,

"Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

'Cause love comes slow, and it goes so fast

Well, you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

'Cause you loved her too much, and you dived too deep"

I began to realize this was Blake. He loved Chelsea endlessly, but it scared her. She wasn't used to someone loving her unconditionally. Even though Blake seemed terrible to her on the outside, he only did those things in an attempt to keep her. I think that if he lost her, he'd never be fixable. He was really trying to be a better person for Chelsea. It showed. For the first time in months, Chelsea didn't have any bruises or scars. Instead of being all business, he was more present for her sake.

I also realized this was me too. I was starting to feel something for Blake, causing me to lose her. I mean, I knew he wasn't mine and I couldn't keep him. The more I cheated, the more I struggled to sleep at night. I betrayed her and it was the same feeling as I continued my mistake. I knew I should call it off and try to be better for her, but I wanted him. Also, I knew that by sleeping with him, I was helping her. He'd become aggressive with Chels, if she couldn't bring herself to be sexual with him. I filled that void for him. It might sound cocky, but she should thank me. I fixed their relationship problems.

* * *

We were sitting on my bed, admiring the mementoes we collected today at the amusement park. My personal favorite was the photo taken as we dropped straight down the hill of the rollercoaster. Chelsea's hair was entwined in mine as it whipped behind us. Her eyes were closed as she gripped the handle bar with both hands. My bug eyes, however, were bulging out my head as I was practically lifted from my seat. I had ridden roller coasters many times before so my heads were as high up in the air as they could go. Chelsea had never been on one, but was fascinated by the idea. Even though she looked terrified on that first ride, she insisted that we ride all the roller coasters the park had to offer. Then again, there wasn't much else today since we weren't little kids anymore.

Soon enough, we both laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling. We were just reminiscing and laughing. It was like being 12 years old again, but we weren't talking about how excited we were to grow up. Instead, I think we both wished we could go back to those simpler days sometimes.

Somewhere around 1 am the next day, I thought my bladder was going to explode. I probably drank one too many slushies at the park. When I announced where I was going, Chelsea jokingly laughed at me. I had told her to pick something more entertaining for us to watch while I was occupied.

Not even a few minutes later, I heard my phone ding twice. I looked around the bathroom, thinking I took it in here with me, but I guess I forgot. Two more dings sounded, before I heard the ringtone.

Fuck. Fuck! FUCKING SHIT!!!!

I never wrapped up a bathroom trip faster in my life, but to keep it cool I walked out as if I hadn't heard anything. "You find anything good, Chels?"

As I rounded the corner, I knew I had lost my best friend. Fuck.

She had my phone in her hands as she looked up at me with a broken heart. I knew exactly why she was upset, but I wanted to at least try and explain everything before she overreacted.

"Chels." Softly, I begged. "Please, it's not what it looks like."