UNDER REVISION - Road Rage, Dark Shadows MC (Book 1)

Trigger Finger - Ash

Ash

The moment I walk into the half-built clubhouse, an arrogant voice booms out, "And where the fuck have you been?"

I look behind me, sure that Smoke can't be talking to me, but when I turn back he's striding up to me with Bruiser and Danny at his back–like always. These guys are part of the old guard, ones who'd ridden alongside Pop before he'd been incarcerated and who believed strongly that the changes I was making weren't in the club's best interests.

Instead, they wanted to back to the good ol' times, running guns and drugs and hoping to fuck that they weren't picked up by the cops on the way. They hadn't been quiet with their opinions about the relocation from Willowbank to Oakfield, telling me that I was spitting on the graves of all the brothers who'd come before me. They'd been bitching up, down and sideways about the different ways I was finding to legitimize the club but honestly?

They could go fuck themselves. They were quite happy to keep taking their cut while sitting on their fat asses as they bitched me out and they were real fucking happy to watch every other brother take the risks that lined their pockets.

Some days, it felt like they'd never be truly happy until everyone was dead or in prison but when I pictured my future?

It wasn't dirt or bars that I saw. Nah, I wanted the life with my brothers–the freedom of the ride and the drinks around the club. We'd all do our part, working the club businesses, ensuring everyone was looked after. I also saw, clear as fucking crystal, going home at night, where my woman and kids would be waiting for me.

It may have taken me longer than it should've but I wasn't a complete loss cause. Pops thought he had it made when I was younger, swanning in and out of our lives but keeping me and Ma completely separate from the Dark Shadows. Sure, I'd gone around the club during barbecues and shit, but as soon as the sun had gone down, drinks had come out and so had the club girls' tits. Ma had shooed my out the door pretty fast after that, always wanting something better for me than Dark Shadows.

She'd been devastated when I'd prospected but she didn't understand that there could be a balance. Pops had just never found it. I don't think he'd wanted to. He liked life the way it was, old lady at home raising his kid while he fucked around with club girls half his age.

Me? I didn't want club girls–pussy used up by all my brothers. I didn't want a different girl every night and my brothers weren't going to keep my bed warm, as much as I might love them. Nah, something had shaken loose in me when I had to face a world without Silver in it. The idea that she could be dead and I'd never have pursued something serious with her–fuck. The regret had been haunting, overshadowing everything, even the rage at the idea that someone had hurt her. Even if nothing had ever come from us, the fact that I hadn't ever tried was a brutal hit to take.

The universe had given me another shot and these old fucks could go jump off a cliff if they thought I'd give that up just to keep them happy and in the dark ages.

Silver said she wanted normal and I couldn't give her that. I would never be a suit and tie, nine-to-five prick. No matter what, the club was in my blood and would always be a big part of my life. She'd have to accept that, but I could give her better than normal, which would bore her senseless anyway. People like us, who've been through some shit, we don't do well with normal but it doesn't mean I can't make changes. If Silver would just give in, I'd make sure she knew where she landed on my priorities–which was at the very fucking top.

Once we got the current shit sorted, once everything was legitimate, my life wouldn't be so full of darkness and shadows. I didn't want to tell her any of this until I could be sure it'd happen, but I'll give Silver everything she dreamed of... just an edgier version, with more leather and bikes.