UNDER REVISION - Road Rage, Dark Shadows MC (Book 1)

Memories - Silver

Silver

"What're you doing?"

My head shoots up at the sound of her voice, the backpack dangling from my hand, just as her eyes flick around the room before narrowing on me. She lifts a cigarette to her cracked lips. She takes a long drag, the lit end flaring bright before she takes it away, exhaling a cloud of smoke into my room. My throat itches with the urge to cough but I swallow it down, trying to appease the urge with my own saliva.

Mama's hair is a mess around her head, tangled and matted, looking like it'd been at least several days since she'd washed it...or even showered at all. My nose twitches at the thought.

"Uh, Mama..." My voice comes out careful, knowing I'm walking a tightrope right now. It won't take much to set her off. This is the first time I've even seen her today, which is a good thing. But it also means I don't know how she's spent her day. If it was just filled with booze, she'll be temperamental and mean but she doesn't usually get violent. If it was anything else... I try to twist my expression into something pleasant and neutral. "What do you mean?"

She takes a step closer, barely blinking as she watches me. The whites of her eyes are red, her pupils dilated. Neither good signs. I know she had some money because she went through my wallet while I was sleeping. Luckily, I'd planned for that, leaving a fifty in there so she wouldn't suspect that I'd hidden the rest in a shoebox at the bottom of my closet.

The same shoebox that was currently empty next to my foot. The entirety of my savings, $432 exactly, was practically burning a hole through my bra. It was my ticket out of here and now she's here, standing in front of my only exit, and if I don't play this just the right way, all my plans are going to go up in flames.

"Are you fucking deaf?" She hisses scornfully, her mouth twisting with disdain. She enunciates her words slowly, her eyes bluntly cruelly. "What. Are. You. Doing?"

I look away, shoving a random textbook in my bag. I don't need it, considering I graduated earlier today but I'm eighty-five percent sure that she doesn't know that. "I have a shift at the bar tonight. Someone called in sick." I gesture down at my bag, "I thought I'd get some homework done on my break."

She scoffs, tapping her fingers against the burning cigarette, making the ashes float to the stained carpet of my bedroom. "Huh. Good. That's good." Her eyes are sliding from side to side, as if she can't focus on anything. "Rents coming up due, you know. I'll need your share."

I swallow, guilt surging hard and fast. In my head, I know I shouldn't feel bad but she's still my mother and no matter which way I look at it, I'm abandoning her. She can't take care of herself–she's never been able to–and her boyfriend won't help. If anything, he'll jump from the sinking ship and take whatever he can carry when he goes.

Just like I was doing.

That inner voice makes me pause and, hidden in my bag, my hand starts to tremble. It's not the same thing, I remind myself. I have to leave, I have to get out. Every penny I earned has been going straight back to her and him, funding their habits. I've scrounged for two years for four measly hundred dollars but I can't wait anymore. Every night I stay is a risk. One of these days, he's going to get a little bit braver. A little bit more forceful.

I can't let him steal that from me. I just can't.

And I don't want this to be my life forever. It can't be. I don't know what might be out there or what my life will look like, but I want more than this.

"Did you hear me?" She huffs, taking another drag on her cigarette. "Fucking ungrateful little bitch, just like always. You better pay up tomorrow."

I want to mention the money she stole but it won't help. She's unpredictable and I need to play it safe. If I lose this chance, I'll never be able to get out. They'll keep me trapped here until I'm as empty and broken as they are.

Maybe worse.

"I hear you, Mama." I keep my expression neutral, even as my panic builds. "It's Friday, so I should make a bit in tips."

Her eyes flicker down to my legs, bared by my denim shorts, and she grimaces. "Yeah." She looks over her shoulder as if she heard something but the trailer is silent. "Come wake me up when you get in. I want the money then."

"Oh. Okay." I shake my head but then nod. "Is everything okay?"

Her head snaps back toward me, her whole expression twisting into something that looks a lot like...hate. "Why would you ask me that? Why wouldn't it be okay? Fucking nosey little cow, sitting there questioning me, thinking you're better than me!"

"I don't–"

"Don't you talk to me like that! I gave up everything for you and you sit there, judging me!" She takes a step forward and I flinch back. She eyes me, a malicious glee on her face at the evidence of my fear. The silence draws out between us as I wait for what comes next, refusing to say anything else that'll give her a reason to attack me–verbally or otherwise. "Larry's right about you..." she's looking at my legs again, my small waist and virtually non-existent breasts. I know I look like a prepubescent boy. The kids at school are quick to remind me daily but their trash talk didn't hurt me. I wouldn't let it, especially over something that wasn't even my fault.

Food was more of a luxury than most people realized.

"Yeah," she continues, dropping her cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with her heel. I know it'll leave a burn mark but what's another one in a trailer covered in hundreds of them? "You need to earn your keep, Silver. You don't get to sit around, lazing on your ass all day. If you want me to keep putting a roof over your head, you'll do better. I'll talk to Larry–he knows a guy. He'll get you a job." She pauses, something unreadable crossing her face. I don't know what it means but a shiver runs down my spine. "And then you'll thank him for it. You're lucky to have him looking out for you."

"I'll do better, Mama."

She eyes me suspiciously, clearly not believing a word. "And you'll wake me when you get home," she orders again, "to give me my money. For the rent." She licks her lips, eyes gleaming.

My throat feels all choked up so I just nod, giving her a brittle smile. She watches me for a few more seconds before she turns and sways out of the room, her shoulder hitting the doorframe on her way through.