cheolsoo • The Society of The Shadow / Eng ver.

10. like binding oneself to a burning house

Joshua couldn't remember how he re-entered the meeting room. Because no one was looking for it except him, it appeared abandoned, lonely, and empty. The entire place was completely quiet.

Sadness pushed him to the edge as he made his first step into the room.

Joshua desired to talk with a friend, yet part of him believed it was better to be alone for a while. He wasn't in the right frame of mind to talk to anyone at the moment. At one point, it felt as if tiredness was about to devour his entire body and cause him to collapse to the ground.

Fortunately, he was still able to get to the sofa and lie down. His eyes caught sight of scarlet streaks on the carpet, causing him to tremble. He shrank back as the chilly, thin air crept down his skin.

The boy raised his glaze against the wall, and everything appeared on it. What colour was the wall? What was displayed on the wooden shelf? Was the fireplace lit? After so many stays in this room, he barely recognised or remembered. All he could think of was that old man and Seungcheol. Every time he closed his eyes, memories appeared to come back more vividly. Even more scary. He felt powerless and cried quietly. He grew to believe that the old man was his enemy, as were all of the other participants in the auction.

He thought about Seungcheol and the ugly truth that emerged from the lips he had once kissed.

No more sweetness and enjoyment. It was only wrath and disappointment coursing through his veins, running deep into his bones.

Could he forget about this night? Or could he forgive? He was unsure. Would he want to forget and forgive? He might be.

It ached to think that they might never be the same, for he knew how he felt, his tender place for the man. It was frightening to think that someone you loved had turned into someone you were terrified to touch. He would miss Seungcheol even more and yearn to be closer.

This conflict was extremely torment to Joshua. 

He also hoped that his best friend was present. But for him to bother Jeonghan's precious time with Mingyu would be incredibly selfish.

Not thinking about Seungcheol was a more difficult obstacle that Joshua did not believe he could overcome. So he tried to do something else to distract himself from his thoughts.

The boy stood up, pulled out his wands. He recalled the Lumious spell that made him exposed himself. He remembered the Vexior spell that Seungcheol tried to cast on the Black coat lady. Joshua never got a chance to practice it before. He knew all of them. He just wasn't allowed to use.

And what exactly did Miss Sandra tell him about the banned spell? She always believed it had a negative impact and it was reasonable to prohibit it in Carat Land. However, Joshua no longer believed it. Screw it.

The youngster didn't know how far the nemesis could lead him when he stepped outside the hallway, but it was enough for him to open the left door once more.

Some may claim that this was suicide, and he would not argue otherwise. After all, Joshua believed that if he could get out safely the first time, he could do it again. He dared to take this risk.

-

On the other side of the library, Joshua's clone stood and grinned at him as though it had been waiting for him to arrive.

Everything remained the same, including the somewhat musty smell of dust on his nose. The cold, dense air. The orderly bookshelves on either side. And the faint light falling on his face as he approached the clone. In its palm was a black wooden wand that resembled Joshua's.

When they met in the center of the room, the gap between them shortened, and Joshua eventually pointed his wand at the clone. He parted his lips warily.