Nothing without you

Why

I can't believe that she is really ignoring me I mean I can understand her trying to figure everything out but why. She really is ignoring me but this can't go on forever we still have a meeting before we fly back and she's going to have to talk to me then right? Maybe I'm just overthinking this but it's been two days two whole days and she hasn't texted me called me or spoke to me since that morning and i need to figure out why.

Sage I know you're ignoring me but can we please talk about this?

A few minutes go by and she finally answered the door her eyes were red and puffy as if she were crying her was a tangled mess and she looked so sad.

"What do you want to talk about Royal there's nothing to talk about?"

Yes there is and I want to talk about what happened a few days ago and I also wanted to check on you.

"Fine but I'm only giving you ten minutes"

She said while stepping out of the way so I could walk in. The place didn't look that bad I mean with the amount of wine on the floor.

I'm sorry if I crossed a boundary of yours I didn't mean to and I know this can put my job at risk. I just don't want you to keep ignoring me as if I don't exist anymore.

Trying my best not to sound desperate but my voice failed me as it shook as each word left my mouth.

" I don't want to keep ignoring you either but I've been invisible to everyone around me my whole life I've never learned how to understand any emotion but I'm sorry if you feel that way."

I understand that but you could've at least tried to tell me I would have helped you understand i mean its hard to figure out why you feel a certian way. But pushing people away isn't going to help you Sage it's going to make it worst I know from experience.

By now I was already a crying mess and I could sense that she was too.

"How would you know from experience you didn't have to learn everything on your own because your family deamed you as the devils child. You've never had to give up your childhood and grow up immediately did you Royal did you ever have to."

No but I know that I never had a normal childhood you know the kind where the whole fucking town knows your family. And if someone were to be "different" in that family the whole town would disown you. Or the time were I was beaten by my dad for wearing shorts to school because I was dressing like a faggot. So no I never had to learn everything on my own but I've never had a fucking childhood.

The tension that filled the room was a mixture of anger sadness and despair. As the room feels silent the only thing that could be heard were our breaths as we just silently cried.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you when you did nothing wrong."

She said her voice barley above a whisper

It's ok we can work on this together if you're willing to let me help you. And maybe after that we can have a little celebration together showing that we both made it through life.

"Are you sure we can work through this and you'll really help me?"

I promise with everything I love I will help you no matter what i will be there for you at your highest highs and at lowest lows. I will always be here for you as long as you let me Sage.

Honesty I don't know how I will help her but if there is s way then there is a how. Have you ate anything today cause if you want I can cook here for you or you can come over to my room and stay awhile.

"No I haven't really been eating lately I've been lost in everything to really eat but I would like to leave my room but I need to shower first."

No problem and it's ok I understand that you were to lost to eat but remember that you need something in your system to function. And you can shower at my room while I cook and you can take as long as you want ok." Also what would you like to eat and no it doesn't have to be a big meal it can be something small as long as you eat I don't care.

We ended up having chicken alfredo with garlic bread and a small salad that Sage helped make me turns out she really likes to cook. After dinner we sat down and watched TV in a comfortable silence and soon enough she fell asleep. She looked so pretty and looked like she was at peace sleeping knowing me I didn't want to wake her so I got a blanket from the bed and covered her up. Before I left I wrote a note telling her that if she needed me or got worried to come into the room.

And with that I headed to bed myself *how am I gonna my to help her when I can barely help my damn self.*

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