Noah turned over on the mattress, stretching under the cover, slowly opening his eyes. It took him a while to understand where he was. The bedroom was dark because of the closed curtains but Noah could see sunlight coming through the cracks in the window.
He remembered the last moments of the previous night. He remembered Will coming back to the bedroom with a second mattress, he remembered lying down and how Will seemed a little cautious. Noah also remembered sleeping quickly and not waking up even once during the night. He hadn't slept so well in many years.
He sat down on the mattress noticing that he was alone in the room. There was no sign of Will anywhere.
Noah had a headache but nothing too worrying, and he felt hungry. Very hungry. And an unbearable urge to pee.
He threw the blanket aside to stand, looking around the bedroom once more. There was no bathroom there. He went to the door, opening it slowly just sticking his head out, looking from one side to the other in the corridor. It was empty and silent.
Noah noticed the door at the end of the corridor and deduced that it was the bathroom. There were two other closed doors that were probably the guest room and Will's mother's room.
He began to walk quickly towards the door at the end of the corridor, stopping when one of the doors suddenly opened, revealing the lady in her 50s with short hair.
The woman noticed Noah as soon as she closed the door, he was standing like a ghost in the middle of the corridor, pale, with wide eyes, and the expression on her face was one of pure confusion.
— Will didn't tell me he had a guest. – Noah opened his mouth a few times but couldn't say anything. — You must be Noah, right? Will said there's no one else his age around here. – the boy nodded, still unable to say anything, so she smiled. — You really are a very handsome young boy, Will was right. – and Noah felt his cheeks heat up. — You are hungry? Will is downstairs. Come have breakfast.
— Ah... I need to use the bathroom first... – she smiled again, pointing to the door at the end of the corridor.
— It's right there. You drink milk? Can I make you a glass of hot milk and some toast?
Noah smiled awkwardly nodding his head.
— It would be amazing. Thank you. – she smiled again, passing him to head towards the stairs. Noah finally relaxed his shoulders, quickly heading to the bathroom.
After relieving himself, Noah took the opportunity to splash some water on his face, looking in the mirror to see his eyes were still quite red, which made him laugh.
He was so screwed. He had no idea how he would get home and he had no idea what was waiting for him.
When he finally went downstairs, he could hear Will's mother talking, but he didn't understand a single word because she spoke in Spanish and very quickly.
— ...si traes gente a pasar la noche, sabes que no me importa si te gusta los chicos, y prefiero que estés aquí en casa con quien quieras que en algún lugar peligroso, pero quiero que me avises antes de traer a alguien a dormir contigo. (...if you bring someone to spend the night, you know that I don't care if you like other boys, and I prefer that you’re at home with someone you want rather than in some dangerous place, but I want you to let me know before bring someone sleep with you)
— No es lo que piensas. (That's not what you think)
— No estoy exigiendo mucho, ¿verdad? (I'm not asking much, am I?)
— No, pero no me escuchas. (No, but you don’t listen to me) – Will's voice sounded a little angry. Noah stopped at the bottom of the stairs, anxious, afraid to enter the kitchen. — Te equivocas y no me dejas hablar. El se emborrachó y no pudo volver a casa. Es una pena pero no follamos. (You're wrong and won't let me say anything. He got drunk and couldn't go home. Sadly we didn't fuck.)
— ¡No uses esas palabras cuando me hables! Ten más respeto, soy tu madre. (Don't use those words when speaking to me! Have some respect, I am your mother.)
— Sorry. – Noah took advantage of the seconds of silence to enter the kitchen, completely embarrassed. He didn't understand a single word of Spanish but he knew very well that they were arguing.
— There you are. – Noah saw her open a big smile but Will's face was frowning and he wasn't looking at Noah. — Sit down. Do you like coffee or chocolate milk?
— Just... milk. – Noah was silent as she left a mug with milk on the table along with a plate of toast.
— ¿El puede entendernos? (Can he understand us?) – she asked Will who shrugged.
— No lo creo. (I don't think so) – she smiled again.
— Make yourself at home, dear. There's butter, jelly, peanut butter. Eat as much as you want. If you need anything, just say.
— Thank you. – the boy smiled awkwardly once again, watching her leave the kitchen, then looked at Will, who was staring at him from the other side of the table, still very serious.
— It's a creepy behaviour to listen behind the door.
— I didn't want to listen but when I came down I heard you talking and I didn't want to... – Will continued to stare at him. — I don't understand Spanish, don't worry.
Will finally laughed, taking a sip of whatever was in his mug.
— Did you sleep well?
— Uhm... – Noah confirmed with his head. — You said she wouldn't be mad.
— She's not mad.
— I may not understand Spanish but I still can tell when someone is angry. – Will laughed again.
— Don't trip, she's not mad. Not with you.
— But is she mad with you? – Will leaned his back on the chair, staring at Noah once again.
— She thinks we fucked. – Will said quietly.
— What...? – Noah widened his eyes, then covered his face with his hands. If he could, he would bury himself alive right then and there. It was irritating to hear Will laughing. — How can you laugh?What did you say to her?
— The truth. – Noah leaned on the table, facing Will.
— What truth?
— Don't you remember? – Will smiled mischievously and Noah felt confused.
— I remember sleeping.
—So that was it. – Will was still smiling and Noah frowned, trying to remember.
— We didn't... we didn't do anything, did we? I wasn't that drunk and not that... that...
And Will laughed even more, amused by Noah's confusion.
— Relax. – Will also leaned on the table. — But you remember what happened in the pool, don't you? – Noah looked at him for a few seconds, then covered his face with his hands again, starting to laugh, hearing Will laugh too and say softly. — Your personality changes a lot when you're high.
— I just felt comfortable being myself. – Noah rested his elbow on the table, laying his head on his hand.
— You can feel comfortable with me without being high too, you know. – Noah looked at him for a moment, then smiled, looking away, hiding it as he picked up some toast.
— So your mother knows about you...?
— Yes.
— And does she accept it well? – Will shrugged.
— Kinda. I don't think she really understands, but at least she tries.
— Is already incredible. I can't even imagine what that's like.
— You just have to hold on. What do you plan on doing when you finish school? You gonna get out of here, right? – it was Noah's turn to shrug his shoulders.
— I don't want to stay here but I still don't know what to do. My grandparents wouldn’t agree about me living somewhere else.
— College maybe? So at least you could get out of here.
— Do you think about that?
— What?
— College. – Will frowned.
— No. When I'm sure my mother will be safe here I want to go to New York. I’ll get a ordinary job, live in a tiny apartment, waste my days drinking and doing drugs, trying not to get arrested or die before 30. – Noah looked at him without smiling.
— Do you really want this? – and Will laughed, shaking his head, but didn't respond.
— Think about it. Your grandparents wouldn't stop you from studying in New York, in fact I think they would be proud. "Look how incredible my grandson is, he's at college but not just any college, it's a college in New York." – Noah laughed.
— Why don't you come too? – Will looked at him a little confused.
— Where?
— College. We can share an apartment, so it doesn't have to be tiny. I'll help you not to get arrested or die before you're 30. – they both laughed and Noah noticed Will wrinkle his nose in a cute way, feeling his heart beating fast and he couldn't help but look at him differently, laughing awkwardly when Will noticed .
— What...?
— Nothing. – he looked away, thinking for a moment about what to say because Will wouldn't stop looking at him. — I need to try to go home...
— Have you thought about how you’re going to do this? – Noah shook his head. — They haven't called yet?
— No. And they won't. They probably think I didn't leave my bedroom because I argued with my grandfather. – Will raised his eyebrows.
— Then you can use this. Do you think you can climb back to your bedroom? – Noah shook his head. — So you can, I don't know... go straight to Itachi's house, play with him, make him make some noise, when one of your grandparents notices and if they ask something, tell them that they just didn't see you come down.
Noah stared at Will for a few seconds, then laughed.
— Have you thought about that now? – Will also laughed.
— The first time I ran away from home I was 11 years old and I was never caught. I'm good at making excuses.
They both laughed. Noah thought it was a good idea and if he didn't get nervous at the time it could work.
After they finished breakfast, Will walked Noah to the door. It was easy to notice how nervous he was. They said goodbye with a little kiss and Will watched Noah leave through the front gate, only then closed the door.
He stood there for a few seconds, thinking. Noah was a problem. Maybe an even bigger problem than Austin. But why did he like that feeling? Why did he like the idea of them sleeping together without anything sexual happening? Why did he like that they spent that time together at breakfast? Why did he like how Noah had cried and hugged him the night before? And most of all, why did he like the idea of them sharing a not-so-tiny apartment in New York?
Will scratched the back of his head, feeling even dizzy with so many thoughts. He went up the stairs, still thinking, going directly to his room. There was a lot to tidy up.
When he opened the door, the first thing he noticed was that the mattresses were no longer on the floor, then he saw his mother standing like a statue next to the wardrobe. She was pale, motionless, and had an indecipherable expression on her face, a mixture of horror, disappointment and sadness.
Will stared at her when she finally looked at him, taking some time to notice that she had something in her hands. A whirlwind of things took over his mind.
The revolver!
He approached so quickly that his mother didn't have time to react. He walked past her, going to the wardrobe, pulling two or three things up. The paper bag was still there, wrapped, hadn't been touched. Will slammed the wardrobe doors, closing them, almost knocking them down, turning to his mother to try to understand why the expression of horror on her face.
She raised her hand, showing the little bags full of white powder. On the floor, next to her feet, the overturned box let more bags and packets of marijuana escape.
— What is that?
— I told you not to touch my things! – Will tried to take the little bags out of her hand but she avoided it, so he bent down, starting to gather what was on the floor back into the box.
— Answer me William! What is that? – her voice was tearful. She watched Will place the box on top of the wardrobe, where she couldn't reach it, her eyes widening when he suddenly turned to her, grabbing her arm tightly.
— Give me that back. – the woman was horrified. No matter how many times they argued, he had never touched her. — Come on, give it back to me!
The first tears escaped her eyes as Will shook her. She tried to escape his grip on her arm but he was much stronger and much taller than her now.
— Don't you dare. Let me go and explain to me how you got this. – she tried to keep her voice steady, but it still failed.
Will tried once again to reach the little bags that she kept closed in her hand, but her mother resisted and cried. He shook her once more with more force before letting go of her arm and watching her fall to the floor.
— WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MUCK ABOUT ALL SHIT? FUCK!
— Will? – her voice was so low that she could barely hear herself. She crawled over to lean against the bed, seeing Will go back to the wardrobe, taking something out of it to also place on top of the furniture. — What's happening with you...?
— Nothing is happening. – Will bent down in front of his mother, pulling her hands, squeezing her tightly so she opened them, finally taking the little bags she was hiding. — Get out.
— You were not like this...
— GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY ROOM! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
— Will... Please...
— Can't you just close your eyes? What were you looking for here?
— Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me? And to you? – she cried desperately and could barely speak.
Will ran his hands over his face, taking a deep breath. He couldn't look at his mother.
— Get the fuck out of my room.
— Did I do something wrong? Hmm? What’s wrong? Tell me.
— It's not about you.
— I've been trying really hard...
— IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!
— You don't know how difficult it's been...
— You think I don't know? What makes you think I don't know? Do you realize how much shit I have in my head? Damn, it's not about you.
— Then why don't you talk to me? Tell me, Will... – she got up with some difficulty, she was shaking, and all the bad memories made her see her son's face in a different way. — Haven't I been a good friend? A good mother?
Will stared at her for a few seconds, then pointed to the door.
— Get out!
— I know it's difficult for you too, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said that.
— Mom, please get out...
— I know... I know you ended up in a horrible situation and I know it's my fault...
— How many fucking times do I have to say it's not fucking about you? Why are you making this about you? Fuck that.
— Because I'm your mother! Because I tried to make you trust me and feel comfortable telling me all these things you have in your head, but instead you trust this crap. I closed my eyes to so much things, Will, you have no idea how I've been trying to pretend I don't see you smoking that damn weed, how I've been trying to find a way to get you to stop drinking so much, but this – she pointed to the wardrobe. — is too much. You're just a kid, my son... – she approached, trying to touch his face, but Will held her by the wrists.
— You should have tried to stop me when I started then. You knew it all the time. Do you think you were being a good mother by letting me do all this shit and pretending you didn't see? Was this how you were being my friend? – Will laughed, but he had tears in his eyes.
— What if I had tried to stop you? Would it have been different? – Will laughed again, unable to stop the first tears from falling. He knew better thay everything would be just the same. — We were going through such a difficult time... I didn't want it to be even more difficult for you... I didn't want you to hate me too. My son...
— Get out of my room, please... – his voice was tearful and broke.
— Don't do this to me.
— I don't want to hear you. I want to be alone.
— Do you realize how difficult it is for a mother to see her son like this? Do you realize how much it hurts?
— I said I don't want to hear it. I don’t want to hear. – still holding her by the wrists, Will began to pull her towards the door, but she tried to resist.
— I don't want to lose you, my son... I can't see you killing yourself like that right in front of me...
Will didn't respond, he pushed her out, slamming the bedroom door and locking it, even though he knew that his mother had fallen because of the push. He covered his mouth as he cried, trying not to make any noise, hearing his mother crying and calling for him outside.
The boy felt dizzy, stunned. He wanted to open the door immediately, hug his mother and beg for forgiveness, but he couldn't move. He couldn't understand what that reaction had been. He had never been aggressive, especially towards his own mother, but seeing her standing in the middle of his room with those things in her hand seemed to cloud his thoughts. He felt he couldn't answer for himself. He felt like he couldn't look at her face anymore.
•°•○•°•
Noah followed Will's advice. He sneaked through the back gate, going straight to Itachi's house. It didn't take much effort for the dog to make noise, as as soon as he saw Noah, Itachi started whining and jumping.
It didn't take long for his grandmother to appear at the kitchen door, looking outside a little confused, but Noah avoided looking at her and continued playing with Itachi.
— When did you go outside? – he heard her ask.
— Right now.
— How? – the boy patted the dog on the head before leaving the kennel.
— Through the kitchen door.
— I didn't see you pass here.
— You were distracted. I even said good morning, but you didn't answer me.
The woman frowned, even more confused, watching her grandson walk past her to enter the house.
— I baked a cake. Have breakfast.
— I'm not hungry.
— You barely touched your dinner yesterday. You can't go that long without eating.
— But I'm not hungry right now. And it's also late, if I eat something now I won't be able to have a good lunch. – he looked at his grandmother who was still looking at him with a frown on her face and for a moment he felt panic. She didn't seem convinced.
— Where did you get those clothes from? – Noah took a while to process what she had said, looking down for a second. He was wearing Will's clothes. He looked back at his grandmother, trying to think quickly and trying not to show insecurity.
— This is mine.
— Since when? I don't remember buying this.
— We bought it the last time we went to the mall, don't you remember? – the woman looked at the clothes very carefully.
— I never washed those clothes, Noah...
— Ah... It's the first time I'm wearing it. I didn't like it very much.
— Hm... – she continued to look at him suspiciously and Noah raised his hands in question.
— What? How do you think I would get new clothes? – she stared at him for a few seconds, then rolled her eyes, waving her hand in the air.
— Forget that. Go upstairs and organize your wardrobe, and if you have any other clothes that you don't wear because you don't like them, I’ll take it to the church. So many people in need and you acting like that, that's all I needed.
Noah turned his back on his still-mumbling grandmother, leaving the kitchen in a hurry and feeling that only then had he started breathing again. When he was in his bedroom with the door closed, he looked for his phone in his shorts pocket, quickly writing to Will.
“Got into my house!! I did as you said, I went straight to Itachi's house and it worked, but I’m wearing your clothes and my grandmother almost caught me... xD but I convinced her the clothes are mine and she just doesn't remember haha"
He waited a few seconds but got no response. It didn't matter, he was happy.
Noah threw himself on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. He felt his face burn with every memory of last night.
He still wasn't sure how he felt about all of this. He didn't know how he felt about Will. He didn't know if that was liking someone or if he was just excited by the possibility of getting to know so many new things, and better than that, things that his grandparents were completely averse to. The feeling of affronting them made his blood boil.
YOU ARE READING
The Grey
Fanfiction"The grey is the color most associated with boredom, loneliness, emptiness, apathy, hopelessness and despair. A person in a grey mood feels gloomy"
