staring down the sun

[16] taste like a summer day

ESCAPED SAINTS KILL MOB RING, SAVE SEX WORKERS

The newspaper on the table catches her eye, the headline strangely simplifying what happened. Smecker sips his coffee, peering over the mug at Elena with a raised eyebrow. She blushes, immediately feeling the urge to apologize. "I can explain..."

Smecker chuckles and shakes his head. "No need. We can't control the press." He sets his mug down, shuffling through the papers before him. "Besides, it might not be bad that the world knows they're still out there." He looks back at Elena, a glint in his eyes as he asks, "You good to stay in the field with them?"

Her throat closes up, the answer too complicated to say aloud.

Then, as if by saving grace, Bloom, Dolly, and Duffy appear, each bringing a stack of notes and paperwork to the table. Duffy's load also includes a laptop, as he had transferred the contents of the stolen hard drive from Lombardo. The crew sits, ready to unpack all the new evidence and plan their next move.

Curious, Elena reaches for the newspaper from Smecker, the headline still turning her stomach. She scans the front page, first noting "an unidentified third accomplice to the Saints" in the article outlining the Lombardo hit. Below is a smaller headline about some politician running for Congress and his promise to "fight crime that plagues our nation." That's what they all say, though. In the column on the side, a woman celebrates her 100th birthday, a Picasso exhibit is opening at the art museum, and the Red Sox beat the Yankees at home 3-2.

"So, fucking weird thing, whatever network that symbol represents, nothing on that hard drive gives us a name," Duffy explains as he opens up his computer.

"Yeah, it's like they're ghosts or something," Dolly adds, stirring a sugar packet into his coffee.

"But it didn't stop them from labeling other entities, other drug and human trafficking rings. It almost seems like it was a backup server or something for all these assholes," Duffy clicks around various files.

"And we're not just talking about the East Coast here, like what Jensen found a few weeks ago. This shit is all over the country."

"Sounds like we need to recruit, huh?" Bloom jokes dryly, chewing on her gum as she writes in her notepad.

Smecker rolls his eyes, then presses his lips together as he leans forward on the table. "Fuck."

Dolly and Duffy share a look across the table at each other, almost like they were speaking MacManus with their raised eyebrows and slight head tilts. "Well," Duffy starts, his Boston accent thicker than usual, "that's sure as hell reassuring that the smartest guy in the room is stumped."

"Ye talking about Dolly, yeah?" Connor teases as he and Murphy appear, each holding a cup of coffee. Connor walks over to Duffy, patting him on the shoulder as he looks at the computer screen. Duffy points to a few things, quietly explaining what they were talking about, feeding into the Irishman's budding detective side.

Murphy sits next to Dolly, and Elena knows he will dump another sugar packet into the detective's coffee when he's not looking. He'd done it before, so much that Dolly's face had puckered from the excessive sweetness.

She smiles at the thought when she catches Connor looking at her. His bright blue eyes hold steady, and Elena forgets to inhale.

"Connor, you got the watch?" Smecker asks.

"Aye, I've got it." He walks behind Duffy, reaching into his pocket and handing the black metal watch to Smecker.

Elena bites her lip, trying so hard not to remember how Connor tasted. But the memory proves too powerful as she feels that chill run up the back of her neck. It's not fair...he kissed her, not the other way around.

She stands up, feeling the eyes of everyone in the room glance at her with varying reactions, most of them curious. But her vision blurs as she avoids looking at them, Connor especially. Any attempt at explaining her departure fails to form in her throat, so she leaves without a word.

The sunlight hits hard as she pushes through the back door, blurring her vision more with a bright halo. She reaches into her jacket pocket, fumbling for the pack of Camels and accompanying lighter. Her hands shake as she lights the cigarette between her lips, again trying not to think of Connor's mouth.

"Jensen?" Bloom's southern voice drags into the air, mixing with the smoke as Elena turns her head. "What's got you?"

Shaking her head, Elena offers her a cigarette. Bloom smiles and pulls a large piece of gum from her teeth proudly. "Quit. Remember?" she laughs as she sticks the gum back in her mouth, chomping away like the Valley Girl she must have been back in high school. "Thanks, though."

Elena takes another drag, exhaling slowly and looking down at the ground. "I shouldn't be here."

"Bullshit, you're doing great with them," Bloom insists.

Embarrassed, Elena smiles. "It's not that simple."

"Don't tell me you're having feelings."

If only she knew what happened.

"You knew?" Elena exclaimed as she slammed Bloom's office door behind her. She was still irritated from her talk with Smecker and found herself obligated to go with the boys on their first mission. "You knew he was going to send me with them?"

Bloom had already kicked off her Louboutins, her bare feet propped up on her desk. She smiled, and Elena crossed her arms. "You really that surprised, Jensen?"

"That you didn't tell me? Yeah, I am."

"Wasn't my place, darlin'. That was all between you and Smecker. You're his sparrow, remember?" Elena felt her ears turn red when she said that. Bloom took her feet off her desk and leaned forward, her eyebrow arched up curiously. "But I figured you'd be pissed off. 'Cause you like working on your own."

Elena shifted her weight and looked down at her feet. "It's not just that, it's..."

"It's going full-on rogue—no more CIA red tape. No more answering to someone else's agenda. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Elena paused and shook her head. "Not like this."

"I don't think you have a choice anymore, darlin'." Bloom sure had a seductive way about her, especially when she was right.

Elena takes another drag off her cigarette as Bloom softly says, "You know you can talk to me."

Elena's smile is tainted with dryness as she looks at the former FBI agent. "What, you're going to be my therapist now?" She blows more smoke into the air. Oh, the irony.

Bloom narrows her eyes, though not out of irritation, out of concern. Elena can tell the difference when Bloom's lips press together softly. "If not me, then talk to someone. You don't have to do everything on your own."

With that, she turns on her red bottoms and returns inside, leaving Elena alone in the sunlight.

She stamps out her cigarette under her foot and inhales the warm September air, tasting Connor all over again.