Rae?

21

We did it? Not yet,, next month though. Wow,, did you ever think we would make it this far? Not in a million years,, I definitely thought they would have separated before we did. Haha, yeah,, I can agree with that. How did we do it? You know, I don't know actually,, days just kept going,, we never really figured out how to end it. Besides, if we did know how what would change? Where is the breaking point? That is an excellent question. Thirty?? Do you think we will make it that far? Even if we do,, what is the point? I'm not sure about that either.. you don't think we will ever find joy here, do you? Not really, I kinda think we will keep going on this messy path, be disappointing and disappointed by everyone and everything. BUT HEY, we can drink soon, that might clear it up some. We do enjoy drinking, it gives me a funny head rush that I can't really keep around. Though that is kinda how life goes, sometimes you find just wonderful things, but can't keep them. Is that so? It is. Alcohol, is weird though. I enjoy it, you enjoy it, but I have had so many things happen while drunk that you would think we wouldn't enjoy it anymore. Yet, we do. Yeah,, we do. It is a constant that we can count on, always foul tasting but it makes you forget about me, doesn't it? Sometimes, but sometimes I drink enough I just sit there and all I can think about is us. Why is that? I don't know, just like I don't know why I even keep saying, us, as if you are a second person. Well, we talk. Only when I can't find the outside noise, and I am alone. It isn't reassuring that I have to be alone, or mostly. We both know that isn't true, we are always talking like this. Is this a bad thing? I don't think so, you talk to me cause it is hard to find someone to explain your life to, to explain the things you enjoy, or the things you don't. Besides,, we have fun. Beats having friends sometimes, though I do miss them. For our twenty-first we will have friends. What about the next day? Oh yeah, you will be the oldest in the group, surely someone will want to be around us, we can buy the alcohol and the vapes. Ha Ha very funny,, I thought it was..a bit. Let's just try to enjoy it, we can have a party, get wasted, forget about each other and all of our problems for a night or two. Hate ourselves the next day, but from there we can go anywhere and do anything we want. Yeah,, just us though. That may be, but we will have fun, I promise.