𝙰 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗||𝚁𝚊𝚢.

[11] 𝘔𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦

Y/n's Pov

The nights before an event that your looking forward to are always the worst.

'Ugh! Why can't I sleep!'

You can't fall asleep, no matter how much you want to

'This is torture! Why me!'

Except this time it wasn't something I was looking forward to.

'The longer I'm awake the more I think about...'

This time, it was something bad, like-really bad, so bad to the point my body wouldn't let me sleep out of fear of what awaited me the next day.

'Screw this I'm going to go get some water.'

Though in that moment all I wanted was to sleep, I'm so grateful I didn't because of him.

- - -

On my walk over to the kitchen I noticed a dim light at the end of the hall leading to the library. 'Who in the world would be up at this hour-?' then I remembered exactly the kind of person who would be up at this hour. Ray. I walked over to the library, slowly cracking the door open more than it already was and peaked inside to spot him. There he was, sitting at a table reading. My heart skipped a beat. He was handsome beyond words, sitting there reading his book looking concentrated. He was just so- I don't know how to describe him, how to describe my feelings it's just so much, my love for this boy is so much more than a crush- I loved him. And now I was going to leave him and everyone else. Forever.

"Hey what are you doing up this late?" He snapped me out of my daze, looking up from him book and putting it down on the table. Shaking my head I smiled softly and walked over to him.

"Sorry, just thinking about tomorrow." I said, sliding in the chair next to him, putting my elbows on the table to I would relax my chin on my hands. He looked at me in a way he never quite did before. He looked sad, yet angry.
"You don't need to worry because you and Norman are going to make it out of here and trick Mama, end of story. Don't work yourself up over nothing, nothings going to happen to you or Norman, I promise." He assured me, leaning forward to look at me better. I flushed. How could he always find something to say to make me feel better? Even though his sweet words would have usually made me feel better, this time it was different. I knew what he was going to do. And I knew I was going to betray him and Emma tomorrow. So no matter how much he reassured me everything would go to their plan, I knew, me and Norman had something else in store for tomorrow.

"I know it's just- I can't help it, y'know?" He sighed, laying his head down on his arms that rested on the table, looking up at me with a look of dissatisfaction. I gave him a sheepish smile in return.
"I just wish you trusted yourself, trusted us more, that's all."
'Says the boy whos going to try and set himself on fire because he doesn't trust us to escape another way.' Now that thought I kept to myself. It was to risky to let Ray know everyone knew his "plan" for everyone to escape. Same goes for my plan, it wasn't a good idea for everyone to know me and Normans plan to stay here to get shipped out. Now look, I know technically I'm doing the exact same thing; sacrificing myself to allow the others to escape, but there truly isn't another safe option for them. If we follow through with their plan, it isn't guaranteed that they escape so to make sure everyone gets out, we have to do this.