all too well

chapter eight. . . the differences between districts

MY KNIFE SLASHES THROUGH THE AIR WHEN I'M AWOKEN BY A LARGE FIGURE LOOMING OVER ME. He jumps back, narrowly dodging my swings—which isn't an ego boost. The knife clatters to the floor as I realise who it is. . . I hadn't seen Scythe since the interviews, he looks much different now. His ruffled hair, cheeks bloodied and bruised, he looks skinnier; having no access to food will do that, I suppose.

He offers me his hand tentatively, and I take it. He's strong—extremely strong—and he manages to lift me in one swoop. I crash against his chest and apologise quietly. It's silent for a moment as we size each other up, and for the first time in the past couple of hours, I'm extremely grateful he found me and not the remaining careers.

"Saw what you did to that girl from four and the boy," he explains, his eyes landing on my hands. I look down at them as well, as we both come to an unspoken agreement—they're capable of pure evil. "Brutal," his eyes travel back to mine and I'm speechless.

I shrug, "They started it," I reply. I sound like a petulant little girl when I say that, but I can't help it. They did start it, and now Azalea was dead because of them. Because of me. I suppose we're all to blame. Scythe snorts at my response, shaking his head to hide his laughter. I didn't find what I said funny, but he must have.

After a moment, his face falls and the mood changes—it's much more sullen. "I understand. They killed my partner as well, Flora. She barely had time to even turn around before that. . ." he pauses, wiping away the tear that threatened to spill. "They drove a knife into her back," I look at the ground to avoid his gaze—however, I knew the feeling all too well.

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

"S'alright, sorry about your friend. Careers came sniffing around here, probably after you. Don't worry, I scared them off," he reassures.

I scrunch my face up in confusion, what could he possibly get from looking after me? His smirk grows and my heart races, was it to finish me off himself? I don't know what I ever did to him. "Why?" I ask, biting my bottom lip while staring into his eyes deeply.

"I can't kill the careers by myself," he replies thoughtlessly. I freeze in my spot, my mouth agape as he told me that. "I saw the way you handled them, and I need to get them back. For Flora," the way he said that sent chills down my spine—the hurt in his voice, the determination. I'd be wrong if I said he didn't scare me.

I can feel my bottom lip quiver, and tears spring to my eyes. "I don't think I want to—Kill, I mean. It's awful. . . I can't even remember what I did," I confess. He's taken aback, clearly shocked that I'd be different. But had he not seen me clean up their bodies? Or had he seen that as something to admire? My stomach growls, and I realise that I haven't eaten in hours—and that girl had stolen my food.

Without even a minute to look for food, Scythe shoves a strip of dried meat in my face. I hesitate for a moment but finally accept it while he crouches down to my level. "I don't want to win. . . I also don't want the careers to win either," he whispers, taking a seat opposite me. I process this information, struggling not to wolf down the meagre rations he'd offered me. "But I understand if you don't want to kill anymore. It was more about the company anyways," he sighs, his head falling into his hands.

"Don't do that. Don't try and make me like you," he looks at me in shock, "It's about the company? I can't do that again, become friends with you. What, do you think I like being lonely? I just—I can't lose another ally," my voice breaks, and I look down at the ground. The feeling of a comforting hand on my knee makes me look up, and I can see how broken he looks—he really is completely different from the boy I'd seen at the tribute parade.

He shakes his head, "I know, it's unfair to you. But I think I deserve to have one last meaningful talk before I die," he confesses.

I scoff and roll my eyes, "You'll win these games, I'm sure of it," I assure him, finally finishing the dried meat strip.