Riot

15. Breathing

First time you screamed at me

I should have made you leave

I should have known it could be so much better

I hope you're missing me

I hope I've made you see

And now it's coming clear

That I don't need you here

And in this world around me

I'm glad you disappeared

I feel so much better

Now that you're gone forever

I tell myself that I don't miss you at all

I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now

That you're gone forever

Gone Forever – Three Days Grace

Julie sat up straight so quickly that she felt a sudden vertigo. Sweat drops streamed down her forehead and her heart was beating fast. She couldn’t know if she had screamed, but the light that had just flicked on the hall answered that question. There was a light knock on the wooden door and it cracked a little as it was opened.

“Julie?” Mark called as he peeked inside.

He wanted to be in the same room as her, but he knew she’d never take it from the beginning. Mark wondered just how scared she was. A week had passed since they arrived and every single night Julie woke him up with a startled scream. It was so full of fear that it made the hair behind his neck to stand up. He couldn’t even guess what had happened to her to make her feel like this. This was so not like her. Sometimes she slept on the couch in the TV room while they were watching a movie and she’d start talking in her sleep. There were times when he couldn’t understand the words she was saying, but when he could, he always listened to the same ones: no, stop, gun, Billy.

After the third night he asked her what it was all about but she talked him out of it and changed the subject. When she was awake she was just like the Julie he had known all this time, fearless, funny, cleaver and beautiful. But when the night came and she sank down into the darkness of her sleep, she seemed to be no more than a scared three-year-old little girl.

Mark knew whose fault it was and he hated him so bad for this. Even though Julie wouldn’t admit it, he was sure Billy Darley had done her worse things than he could ever imagine, so he called the police. Mark told them everything he suspected, from when the wooded guys hit him to what he was almost sure they had done to his friend. All the blame lied on Billy Darley’s gang, and even though there weren’t consistent evidences, Detective Wallis knew there was a great possibility the doctor was speaking the truth. She promised to personally take care of the case and instructed him to stay in the ranch with Julie for as long as he could. The gang was already being chased down for a wave of sudden cruelty around town, though the detective couldn’t figure what was behind the master’s anger. Julie would never know any of that.

She groaned. “I did it again, didn’t I? Mark, I’m so sorry.” She apologized without waiting for his reply.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Julie. Do you want something to drink?” He didn’t bother to ask what was troubling her, it was useless. For some reason she’d never tell him, and even if she did, she’d try to take off Billy’s blame.

“A cup of tea would be pretty good right now. But don’t worry, I’ll get it myself.” She started to get up but Mark stopped her with a soft restraining hand.