~i would die for your safety~ an Alan Becker avm/Ava fanfic

chapter 4- 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚒 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚒 𝚕𝚒𝚎

TW: smoking, GAY! also like agent x victim GAY
Swearing of course, ALSO I DONT KNOW WHY IS THIS SO ANGSTY

POV: VICTIM

God dammit I'm so bored

Who would have guessed that when you're an important business stick you have to do so many documents

Maybe taking a break would be good.. yeah, taking a break sounds good right now

So I head out of my office, walking through the warehouse, I look at all of my workers, talking to eachother and having fun even thought their hands are full of work... How can they even do that

I could technically butt in and tell them to stop slacking off.. but I won't do that.
Sometimes you just gotta realise that the best way to be respected is to treat your workers like they are real sticks.

I continue to walk fastly to the exit, while I pass by I can hear people saying stuff like "good evening boss" and shit like that, of course I don't mind it.

But sometimes I just wish that i could be invisible

Finally I get to the door, and I leave. The cold air hits my face, i lean on the building as I pull out a cigarette box out of my pocket and a lighter.

I take a cigarette out of the box and I light it, breathing in the toxic fumes that will damage my lungs and probably will be the cause of my second premature death.

Sometimes I don't understand myself, I have everything I could've ever wanted, a stable career, a lot of money, and everyday im getting closer to my plan of revenge

But sometimes

I hope this place that is my entire life work
Someday burns down

And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away, and i never come back to this town again.

I take another drag of my cancer stick, as I look at the darkening sky. Just lost in thoughts.

I take a look at the ciggie inside of my hand, people always call out this self-destructive habit of mine, they say that its not healthy and that im destroying my life.

People always need to criticise the only good things in life, don't they?
"You smoke? Ew you will die!"
"You drink? Ew you will die!"
"You take drugs? Ew you will die!"
"You do all of these things? You must be really fucked up inside."

Like I'm not saying I'm not fucked up inside but sticks don't have to care about these stuff.

They say they care, they say that it's all for my safety, but then they dont even try to help me

It's usually just "oh you're fucked up! Did you know that? Anyway that's your problem, you need to take care of it yourself!"

Well I don't need help, my life's perfect... Almost perfect

When I'll get my revenge on Alan it will be perfect

-Oh hello boss- I suddenly heard a deep voice say, taking me out of my overthinking.
-oh Agent- I say as I recognise the stick Infront of me - uhh.. what are you doin here?
-oh just walking around- Shady answered (agent = shady) - checking to see if maybe somebody is getting in.. and what are you doing here if, if you don't mind me asking.

-oh just relaxing a bit from work- I say before I once again inhale the goodness from the cigarette
-okay - Shady answered smiling- mind if I accompany you?
-yeah do whatever - I chuckle

And so we just stood together, not saying anything, just standing in a comfortable silence

I always saw the people that work here as kinda my famalam, but Shady.. Shady is different..

He just looks at me differently, and he acts around me differently than other sticks do, it's weird.. im not against it but it makes me feel warm in the heart I somehow still have

I kinda feel bad for him.. just the fact he has to hang out with somebody like me must be exhausting, I bet the way he is acting is just him being fed up with my emo ass.

And I hope when he thinks of me years down the line, he won't find a good think to say

He will just say "oh that guy? Yeah I used to work for him, he was a total dumbass, a junkie, an addict" because lets be real thats what everyone will say in the future

-boss? You good?- his voice once again takes me out of my thinking- you look sad..
-huh.. oh right- I say suprised to be back on earth- yeah Im good.. just thinking.. about.. stuff..

Shady looked at me concerned, he never looks this way at sticks, after all he is an agent, somebody who has to be strong and unmerciful.. but for me he is different..

Is it pity? Is it because I'm his boss?

Suddenly I fear a warm hand squeeze my ice cold hand, I look at Shady who had a comfortable smile, he squeezed my hand comfortably.

-sorry- he mumbled - I just thought you needed some comfort
-no its okay..- i smile back.

I wait for his hand to retract, and leave me alone.. but that didn't happen, what happened instead is our fingers intertwined.. it was for sure comforting

Hand in unlovable hand

After a while of mixed shock and comfort I suddenly realise what we're doing, and I quickly move my hand away from his

-i uhh.. should get back to work- I said fastly
-oh yeah.. no problem- he answered

I quickly opened the door and went inside, slamming them behind me

Holly fuck what the fuck just happened..

My face feels warm, it feels like burning actually, my stomach feels like I was supposed to vomit, my heart felt warm, as if i just drank some hot choco while laying on the couch watching a movie..

GOD DAMNIT VICTIM GET YOURSELF TOGHETER, BACK TO WORK!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Autors note

Well hello! GUESS WHOSE BACK MATAFACKAS
I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHY DID THIS CHAPTER CAME OUT SO DEPRESSING
LIKE I WATCHED MORAL OREL COUPLE OF HOURS BEFORE I WROTE IT BUT GOD DAMN THIS IS SAD

ALSO IF YOU HAVENT LISTENED TO NO CHILDREN BEFORE OR HAVENT WATCHED MORAL OREL I RECOMMEND BOTH

ANYWAY I DONT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT FAMALAM IS A BRITISH SLANG FOR FAMILY

ANYWAY BYEEE

SIGNED
THETRANSMF 🥚