The crown of life

Chapter Three: The Mirror

I felt his gaze on me. His look told me he knew what I skillfully hid behind my long blonde hair, which I always pulled towards my face, shielding both myself and others from seeing my scar.

His gaze made me feel like that little helpless child again, unable to speak, with my face horribly aching under bandages. I was alone in the hospital, and the few weeks Mrs. Harrison promised turned into months and then years in that hospital.

Now I was catching my breath in the hospital hallway in front of the door to box 34, watching people pass by, including patients and doctors, with my one eye. Then I finally spotted my Molly and motioned for her to come over with my right hand.

"Molly, please. Carefully clean the woman's face, and I'll be right back." I told her, though it didn't seem like I would return to that box.

"Stephie, okay." she replied, puzzled as if I hadn't been clear enough in my instructions.

Observing me, out of breath, for just a second, she already had a diagnosis.

"Her brother is your ex-boyfriend, someone I don't know about, and as soon as you saw him, you ran out because you didn't want to see him." she said with a giggle.

Whenever I was down, Molly somehow managed to make me laugh, but this time my laughter was short-lived because I saw the devil, not an angel, in him.

"No. Love doesn't exist for me and never has, you know that." I replied seriously.

"Then what happened? You look as miserable as a rag." she asked, persistent as always.

"Molly, we'll talk during the break. Be a darling and do what I asked. I'll be right back. I just need to freshen up in the bathroom." I replied.

"Alright, alright. I'm going." she said, somewhat angrily.

I moved away from the door, and Molly entered the box, greeting them warmly. Meanwhile, I was already running towards the bathroom.

After washing my face with warm water in the hospital bathroom, I stood in front of the mirror where I had always hidden my face.

I saw only my long hair and nothing more. Countless encounters with the scar after unsuccessful removal surgeries had left a mark on me.

Now I found myself face to face with the mirror because I didn't even have one in my apartment.

"You can do this, Stephanie." I encouraged myself.

As I lifted my hair away from the scar, I remembered the first time the doctors showed me the scar and put a patch over my eye.

I was five years old, and Doctor Day was my big crush at the time.

He gently placed a red patch over my lost right eye.

"There you go, you look like a real pirate. Pirate Stephanie, sounds cool, right?" he said with a laugh, looking at me with his kind eyes.

"Yes, Gabriel. I am Captain Pirate." I said, smiling back.

I learned to speak in the hospital because it became my home, and the doctors who watched over me almost 24 hours a day became my friends, whom I lost when I left the hospital with Mrs. Harrison forever.

I shiver when I remember that because it was one of the best periods of my life.

Of course, Mrs. Harrison visited me in the hospital, but I couldn't wait for her to take me to that beautiful orphanage where I could meet other children without burns, scars, or bandages.

"Auntie Kallie, I mean Mrs. Harrison, is waiting for you outside. Today you finally go with her. The whole hospital knows how long you've been waiting for this. But before you go, you must look in the mirror for the first time." he said slowly, holding the mirror.

"I'm going to miss you. I've gotten used to all of you here. You've all become my friends, and I've decided that one day, when I grow up, I'll work as a doctor in this same hospital." I told him excitedly.

"Wow! Big dreams, young lady! We'll be happy to have you join our team one day." he said with a smile.

Doctor and surgeon Gabriel Day then handed me the mirror.

"Close your eye and open them when you say the magic words." he said with a beaming face.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest little girl of them all?"I said with my eye closed.

Slowly, I opened my eye towards the mirror.

"You are the fairest of them all, Miss Stephanie Sutton." Gabriel said, pretending it was the mirror speaking.

I looked at myself in the mirror, convinced I was truly beautiful. And I was genuinely beautiful and happy then. I didn't see the scar on my face, which was quite prominent, but my smile, my beautiful long hair, my lovely eye, and my pretty red eye patch.

"Stephanie, I'm sorry I couldn't fix your face. I'm terribly sorry I'm not a better surgeon, but you are beautiful just the way you are. Promise me you'll always be the happy, cheerful girl you were here." his voice trembled as he spoke.

"I promise, Gabriel." I said cheerfully.

"Stephanie, I'm really sorry. I've operated on you so many times, but I couldn't remove that scar. Forgive me." he said sadly.

I didn't want sadness to be the memory of our farewell, so I quickly changed the subject.

"Gabriel, can I tell you a secret?" I asked.

"Of course, you can tell me anything." he said, forcing a smile.

All this time, he looked at my face and didn't call me a freak or a monster.

"Gabriel, you're my crush!" I said happily.

He took the mirror from my hand and put it in the drawer of the nightstand.

"Just to be safe because you know what they say, if a mirror breaks, it's seven years of bad luck, and we don't want that, right?" he said gently.

"Yes, I know. But Gabriel, can I hug you goodbye?" I asked him kindly.

"Of course you can, my dearest patient." he said, standing up from the chair he was sitting on and spreading his arms wide, hugging me tightly without disgust.

Mrs. Harrison interrupted us, now entering and saying we had to go or we'd miss our flight to Chicago. I then realized she didn't want me either and would take me away from New York City, where I was born and was eager to explore, having seen glimpses through the hospital room window. And I hoped to find my dad, not knowing if he was alive or dead.

Doctor Day gently put me down, and Mrs. Harrison took my hand.

"Stephanie, how do we say goodbye?" she said nervously, pulling me by the hand.

"Goodbye, Doctor Gabriel." I said sadly, looking back at him and waving with my free hand.

"Goodbye, Stephanie. Be well." he said, waving back.

Now, standing with my hair in my hand, I repeated, "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

I still kept my eyes closed because I desperately wanted to see what I had seen as a five-year-old.

"Mirror, please be my friend, be my friend." I desperately repeated, though I knew what awaited me when I opened my eyes and looked into the mirror.

But I desperately wanted to feel that someone truly cared about me, like the last time I was with Doctor Day.

Slowly, I opened my eyes, but no one said, "You are the fairest of them all, Stephanie."

When I fully opened my eyes, I saw the monster with that awful scar, the way everyone else saw me.

I quickly let my hair fall back into place, sat on the bathroom floor, and began to sob bitterly.