Wonderfully Weird

The Idiotic Landscaping and Shorty

Harold had found Chris Pratts house, but his sexy man crush was no where to be seen....
So he sat down right outside the house and contemplated life... And suddenly realised he's an absolute mug. He pulled from his G string the clothes peg that the magical mirror gave him, That had the power to kill any of the dead people. Harold had walked away from Spot , If only he wasn't an obedient mother fucker ... He could have ran into battle with his dogfood and killed all of the dead people. But alas . He couldn't fast forward time. But then out of the corner of his throat... he saw it. The Thing who would make his loneliness end. In the distance , behind a certain curtain and an erection. He saw... An Octopus. "Hello my friend!" The octopus giggled "my name is Lord pus, Lord Octo Pus" Harold jumped with glee. Like Rachel berry and Blaine and stuff...
He walked over to the octopus and knelt down. " My Lord, I have awaited your arrival on planet earth!" The octopus looked awkwardly amazed ... His handlebar moustache flustered in the wind and his circular monicle shined in the light that was generating from Harolds nipple. "oh what a pain " Lord octo pus said worryingly "I Landscaped on the wrong teacup!" A giant jetpack appeared and the octopus flew off into space.. as he got higher and higher harold heard him shout " My internet has eerily similar buyers between dating service providers and clingy hitchcock slaps "
Harolds was crushed...
But then in the shower.... He saw something better. She was short . That's the only way to describe her. Because she was so short even a micro scope needed a bit of Microsoft Windows.
Harold being the gentle soul he is said " Oi you little shit you better fucking come on a quest so save the world with me or I'll fucking shove a banana in your essay"
" okay then let's go!" She said with joy.
Harold had a new friend!
In the distance someone was watching them.
Someone was plotting
A plot of land
That would make the land
A plot

Of land