Wonderfully Weird

Drowning with a chance of an Epic Return

Harold and Shorty McPenis rode on their hunchback whales to Russia speedily because it was Russian Hour. They had heard that one of the Tears of Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia was there. Shorty shouted from her rectum "Hardy? How can we twiddle the left nostril of the dead people without the acoustics of the bathtub breathing on our twinkle?" Harold was pleased with Shorty's sentence, he replied with one the quotes from Kerbal Space Program... "Do you wanna know how I got these scars?". Shorty became shortly unpleased with the situation. Her small amber eyes widened as if to symbolize her surprise.  "But Harkon... How can the wold be saved if you don't move on from the past? You have to forget about your big boy spot and start getting on with your life... Start getting on me..." She looked down, blushing as she did so. Harold made a face that resembled an out of breath fat man and didn't reply due to his awkward tendencies.

When they arrived at Mt. Rushmore, Harold and Shorty jumped off the backs of the flying narwhals and swam to the surface of the sea. Although, even though he was the most heroic and bad-ass person in the world, Harold cannot swim. Shorty swam down to try and save Harold from the drowning sensation that was occurring in Harold's testicles. With Shorty's Short shorts, she was not able to carry him above water. So, she had to leave Harold to drown.

From the shore she could still see the bubbles and movement of the drowning Harold. She cried out in swagony. But she still had hope that he could survive. That's when she saw 12 sharks swimming up to Harold. After that, She saw only grapefruit juice. Her tears were neon pink like the souls of the fans of James Bond. She felt the cold embrace her booty then passed out into a coma for 3 weeks. When she awoke it was warm. Standing in the shadows was a figure. "Who goes there? Is you a handkerchief?" She questioned unfortunately. The figure turned to look at Shorty, And then stepped forth from the sunlight.

The being standing in front of her was familiar but she had never seen it in her life. The red skin... The Eyepatch... 

Could it be?

The creature opened its mouth for 5 whole seconds but didn't say a word

Shorty was confused

The red beast looked down at her and held his hand out to stand her up...

His sunglasses were black and some of his face was peeled off to reveal a robotic underlayer...

Shorty looked up at it with her tiny boobies...

The short, fat, red skinned creature said...

"Suck my Cock"