Time Of Dying [ Bertholdt Fubar ]

Who They Are

[[ A: Yooo. Okay, so I decided to end this already since it's actually just a short story. Haha. I love Bertl and I love angst too so when combined together, it is what I write about. Jks. Idk if this is angst enuff but hopefully, it is. Haha. Y'know, I write stupid stories so just laugh at me and have fun reading.

Btw, idk but the scenes in this are so random. I felt so "blah" on Calliope's past but I carried on. Ahaha.

EDIT: ^ that was written ages ago, sorry. but yeah, I thought this'd be the last chapter but tbh I still have more to write when I reached 6k words. I decided to cut it somewhere I can leave it as an end of a chapter and I hope it wouldn't be awkward. idk if you guys hate chapters that are too long bc I do. haha. This has 3k words and I'm not sure if it's long enough for a chapter or too long but yeah, hope you enjoy anyway. oke bye. ]]

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Her thoughts were shut out as she stared into space. She wanted to keep her mind blank. She doesn't want to think, to remember, and to get hurt by the same memory again and again.

She thought she's had enough.

Yes. I've had enough.

She wasn't just staring into space. She was hugging herself, desperately comforting herself. Her legs were glued to her chest like it would make her intact. She felt like she'd crumble into pieces.

She was still trembling. Trembling from the truth laid out in front of her eyes.

Her tears were dry, but the pain is still there. She hated it. She hated her emotions.

Why did she had to have such a thing when it was just a pain in her back? Why did she let herself feel emotions? Why did she let him make her feel... like she was okay to be human?

Her parents hated her but they pretended to love her. And when things got too hard, they finally sold her. Pretty things happened to her after, being abused in every form. She was called garbage in such a young age. Though she was saved by a military member, he eventually died on a mission... so she was left alone again.

She continued being garbage, and as such filthy things... she knew she can never be called human. She was emotionless, lifeless. Selling herself in many ways just to be able to live, no, exist. But she's done trying to exist. She's done living without a soul.

So she had an idea. She joined the military in a suicidal way. It was a voluntary act to dispose of a worthless being from this world. She knew the world is filthy, so some sinners dying might just lessen the Earth's dirt. If she died, no one would care or grieve for her anyway. She's all alone.

She continued on believing that idea. She was useless, so people would come and go in her life. She was powerless, so others would die without her being able to do anything. She was filthy, so she can never feel how it is to be normal.

Not until he came into her life clumsily. Their relationship started with a bread. His bread fell on the floor because his friend Reiner fooled around with him so he accidentally let go of it. He got frustrated about the bread since he really liked to pair it with their food for the night. She thought he looked cute and clumsy so she took the bread off of the floor and gave him her own.

She took a bite on the bread and said, "Ever heard of the 5 second rule?"

He looked really confused at what she just said so she just waved it off and laughed at his innocence. But ever since then, he'd pest her about repaying her for the bread. And she felt like the 16 year old girl in a military school which she really was, not just some kid on the streets you would just notice if you have filthy purposes or have some job wanted to be done. She was not treated like trash. This guy even wanted to give her something in return. She was being acknowledged as a human.