You know over the years I wanted to come back and say something, anything really, but I could never find the right words to say. So, whatever i type now is coming directly from my brain and onto this thread. And of course, Trigger Warning, death, self harm, SA,etc.
I was around the age 15 when i first thought about writing this 'book' , and 16 when i decided to publish the first chapter. Never in a million years did i think i would get so many reads, i was truly embarrassed, especially since im horrible at writing and even worse at telling a story, but i was encouraged by the first 10 readers that i should continue this story even if it wasn't great.
At the time i was going through such a hard period in my life, and nothing could get me out of a slump, i was doing bad at school, my mom and her boyfriend were abusive and my father wasn't in the picture and i didn't have any friends since my boyfriend at the time isolated me from everyone. It was difficult for me to find a good reason to keep living, i self harmed and stopped eating, i just wanted my life to end and i prayed to anyone who would listen to just cut my life short and be done with everything. But that first chapter of this 'book' saved me in so many ways then i can express. I found myself wanting to wake up and write another chapter, i wanted to write something so purely amazing that it would blow everyone away, but of course i was a teenager who wasn't good at speaking/writing in english, and the only source of romance i've experienced was through Korean dramas and the LOADS of fan fictions i've read.
My point is, i'd like to thank each and every single one of you who read my cringiest story ever, the whole experience made me want to become an author and even though I'm currently enrolled in a psychology program im still going to pursue my passion and publish a book one day. (hopefully before i'm 30).
I am so utterly overwhelmed with the love i have for everyone who's read my story, whether they loved it, hated it, never want to see my name again, and those who reread this and keep them in a file for memories. (don't worry i still keep my wattpad notifications on) I wouldn't have been here today without any of you and i sure as hell wouldn't have been able to pursue my dreams.
Things got so much better for me, As a matter of fact, i've been 5 years clean, and i just turned 22!
The world did not end when i was 16, fighting for the attention of my parents, the world did not end when i was 19 struggling to deal with all my trauma and most importantly the world did not end when i was 21, fighting myself to let go of my past and hold onto the future, because I've made it this far, maybe not far enough but it's the start to the beginning of my life.
One day, i'll publish a book, under my pen name, of course , and the first person i'll thank, will be all of you. I'm happy i was able to have you in this lifetime, and i pray to the universe, and all the gods that exist, that they let me have you guys again in my next life.
With all my love and respect.
-Wonnxin
