Here Comes The Son (Ghost Band / Papa Emeritus fic)

He Is Insurrection, He Is Spite

It was two days later when Copia found himself in Imperator's starkly furnished office, willing away his headache but finding it made infinitely worse by the argument that was ensuing.

"No!" He rose sharply and leaning over, slammed his hand down on the desk causing yet another sharp stab of pain to fly across his eyes.

Pushing his chair backwards, he stepped away from it and began pacing, fuming at her lack of understanding and empathy.

"Copia, I'm not going to have this argument with you with one of your ghouls outside, listening in."
"My ghouls do not listen in, Imperator! They're there for a good reason and you know it," he snapped as he turned to face her again.

Imperator fixed Copia with a harsh glare for a few seconds, with his meeting hers in return. It was a few seconds before she spoke again.

"It's going to be like that is it?"
"Like what?" He asked knowing exactly what she was talking about but forcing her to either discuss it or resolve it.
"Very well, Papa," the use of his title still awkward on her lips. "But, I want you to send your ghoul away while we discuss this."
"There's nothing to discuss, I'm not singing Year Zero! How can you expect me to after what's happened?"
"You think I don't know what it's like for you?" She snapped. "Do I stop you singing Kiss The Go-Goat? How do you think I feel when you sing that? Especially you, of all people!"

Copia stopped pacing. Turning to face her, he frowned, his brow creased in confusion.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Sister!" Copia admitted, the volume of his voice settling as he realised that something about the song touched a nerve with Imperator. "What's wrong with Go-Goat?"

Imperator sighed heavily and looked down and away, unwilling to even acknowledge that she had again let her feelings show.

"What did he do?" Copia's voice was soft, gentle, even soothing. Something about the inflection gave away that he knew he had asked the right question and more than that he knew that the he in question was Nihil.
"Nothing gets past you does it?" She smiled weakly, part of her relieved to be discussing it after so long. She hoped, perhaps not consciously but in the back of her mind, that Copia's knowledge of her doomed affair with Nihil would help him understand her and perhaps help heal the relationship with her son.
"I know he betrayed you but I don't know how." Copia gripped the back of his chair and leaned against it for a moment before sitting down once more and drawing closer to the desk.

Imperator nodded.

"I'd been with Nihil for eight years when I found out I was pregnant with you," she began quietly. "Nihil already had three sons with... other women. I accepted it despite the humiliation because I knew it was important to secure the Emeritus line. But that night, after the concert, I was going to tell him that he had an actual legitimate heir to the papacy. I was excited and proud. I dressed in my most alluring dress, styled my hair how he liked it and I don't mind admitting, I looked beautiful. But it seemed I wasn't enough for him because half way through the set at the end of Go-Goat, and right in front of me while I watched, he kissed two women in the audience. I was devastated, utterly humiliated and I left immediately. He didn't come after me, I don't even know if he noticed me leave. I imagine he thought I'd come back to him like I always had before. I heard the music carry on and he kept singing. That was the last I saw of him for five and a half years. I missed the Ministry, life outside was confusing and unpleasant. So, I returned to the Ministry with an orphan, to be raised within the church." She gestured with an open palm towards Copia.
"You never told me."
"I never told anyone, not even Nihil."
"Why?" Copia frowned, trying not to let his own pain overwhelm him to the point that he couldn't hear hers.
"I didn't want his pity for me or for you."