Here Comes The Son (Ghost Band / Papa Emeritus fic)

The Smiles Returning to Their Faces

Copia walked through the gardens back towards his chambers. For the first time since his return to the abbey he noticed that the flowers were in bloom. Mountain had taken the time to cultivate a special section for him consisting of roses, sunflowers and small delicate purple or white petalled flowers, all arranged to form a cascade of colour and scent. He had been particularly delighted to learn that all the of the flowers Mountain had selected for the display included Copia somewhere in their name. He had been truly moved by the gesture and had hugged and thanked Mountain on the spot - the gentle ghoul at once thrilled and caught off balance by the mark of affection shown by his Papa. Copia took a seat near the display and basked in both the sight and scent of the beautiful flowers. Closing his eyes, he found his throat tightening as, appearing in his mind, was the thought that he had been very lucky to still be alive to enjoy this moment.

It was simultaneously helpful and unhelpful. He was grateful for the fact of it and all the people, ghouls and demonic entities that had worked, often at great risk to themselves, to bring him home, but the pain of the memories that accompanied the thought weren't easy to experience.

The therapy was starting to help. It hadn't been easy at first, talking about anything painful was just that and at first everything felt painful. Crying in front of a complete stranger had seemed strange too, but mostly strange for how easy it had been. There was something about knowing that his words, fears and feelings would never go beyond the four walls of the therapy room that made it easier. It had taken him a few days to even make contact with her after being given the details by Imperator and Nihil but trusting her with the hardest and most excruciating details of his life had been easier than he had expected. Today's excursion out of the safe confines of the therapy room could have been a disaster, but it had been so much more than he had even hoped. Not only had he been able to find his way to the oubliette, but he had not been overwhelmed by it. He had in fact felt quite calm sitting alongside it, relishing the memory of his rescue and subsequent happy, close and brotherly relationship with Terzo, long before it had even been confirmed that they were related. Only now, sitting in this beautiful garden did he realise that he had thought more about the that happy aspect than he had of the terror of being trapped for two days. It felt that the therapy had perhaps changed the emphasis and perspective of the experience.

He thought more about Lydia's suggestion about another possible excursion. He assumed she could only be referring to returning to the church crypt in which he had been held recently. At the time he had dismissed the idea, worried that maybe it was too soon but his period of reflection had made him reconsider the possibility. It was just a place, nothing more. Perhaps it couldn't hurt him any more than the oubliette could?

Another thing that taking the excursion had meant to him was taking the safety of the therapy room outside into the real world. As he relaxed in the garden, he felt safe. He was outside, entirely on his own for the first time since his return and he felt safe. He hadn't expected to feel safe on his own ever again, yet here he was only a few weeks later. He had been sitting in the garden for easily twenty minutes before the thought had even occurred to him. He found himself smiling at the pleasantly surprising situation.

Something made him look up and to his left, a soft prickle on his neck that suggested he was being watched. He glanced up only to see Imperator staring out of her office window. As he caught her eye, she flinched as if moving to hide, but stopped herself realising that she had been seen and simply had to own it. Without even realising it, Copia found his smile widening and he raised a hand to wave in her direction. It felt surprisingly natural and easy and he found pleasure in the returned wave. Even at this distance, her smile appeared genuine and even tinged with unexpected pleasure. Perhaps forgiveness wasn't something he would have to agonise over after all? Perhaps it would come slowly over time in a series of smiles and easy gestures? He hoped so.