I Don't Want To Live Forever

10.

Harry scans the room at the afterparty, spotting her not far away.

She's in conversation with executives from her record company.

He sees her smile at one of them, and he feels a pang of tension in his stomach; it's been ages since he last saw her, months or years, he doesn't know. He feels like he has been frozen in time, still in that hotel room, on that last night they spent together, after he ruined it all.

She looks beautiful, healthier, and genuinely happy, glowing, golden.

He lowers his gaze, suddenly embarrassed by his own thoughts and the inevitable smirk and blushing that follow them.

She hugs the executives goodbye, and he finds himself impulsively following her as she heads towards the exit, catching up with her in the empty back exit corridor.

"Taylor," he calls out, and she freezes at the sound of his voice.

Taking a deep breath, she turns to face him, their eyes meeting after what has felt like an eternity.

"Harry," she responds, not giving away her emotions.

"Hi," he mutters, still unnerved by the fact that she is actually there, staring at him, in that empty corridor.

He is feeling each cell of his body, suddenly come to life. It's like time has not passed between them, and he struggles to control the urge to hold her in his arms.

"Hi," she replies.

"You look good."

"I like the hair," she says, pointing to her own, "movie and album stuff, right?."

"Yeah, it's coming soon, It's a bit different," he justifies the change, shyly, fixing his hair.

"I'm sure it will all be great," she smiles softly.

He can't resist it and takes a step closer, shortening the distance.

"How have you been?" he asks quietly, his eyes softening with that smirk that betrays his feelings, the one that curves his lips every time someone mentions her name.

"Good," she chuckles nervously.

"I've missed you," he simply says, and there they are - the emotions, and the subsequent wet eyes she had been trying to avoid.

He waits for her to answer, but she just stares at a point far next to his face, distracting herself from the emotions.

"Heard your song with Zayn," he presses her, and scans her face for clues. "Is that how you were feeling?".

Why does he still have this effect on her?.

It had been such a long journey to learn how to be happy without him, and lately she had been feeling that she is so close to finally making it.

"I've met someone," she admits then, whispering, and she sees the hurt flash in his eyes, but he nods slowly, accepting.

"I see you're still with her," she says quietly, knowing he'd been dating someone for a while, the final nudge she had needed to move forward.

He nods silently once more.

"At least she's nothing like me," she says playfully, smiling.

He doesn't smile back, just stares at her with a glint in his eyes. "No one will ever be like you".

Her eyes well up, and she looks down for a moment, focusing on their feet.

His voice breaks the silence, low and deep.

"Does it still hurt?"

And she is transported to his bed in that hotel room, when she had let him go. And she knows he's asking if she's moved on, or if she still has feelings for him, if this is the right time.

Looking up, she meets his gaze with a soft expression.

"I love him, Harry."

He tenses visibly.

"Like you used to love me?" he asks, pain and fear in his voice. She shakes her head.

"No. I will never love again like I loved you." She replies honestly.

His eyes water, and he looks away, avoiding her gaze.

He feels like the ground is giving way beneath him; Like he is falling, because she doesn't want him, or need him anymore.

"He makes me happy," she explains, attempting to erase the hurt from his face. He nods.

"I get it," and he smiles, though it doesn't reach his eyes.

He looks as pretty as ever, his piercing green eyes, his soft lips, and his dreamy smile. And her heart aches to hold him one last time, cos even if she loves someone else now, in her heart it will always be him, the boy who stole her heart.

Getting close, she hugs him briefly, kissing his cheek. "Be happy, babe," she whispers.

As she begins to pull away, he grabs her arm, pulling her back in, holding her tight for a last time, inhaling her scent, his muscles updating his last memory of her in his arms.

She gives in, bringing him closer, hiding her face on his neck.

"I lost the love of my life," he murmurs, his voice touched by emotion.

He feels her nod against his neck, understanding,  before she swiftly pulls away from his arms, bolting without looking back, without saying a real goodbye.

*****The End******