The Difference

Chapter 8 The secret

Its been two hours since she left the dance studio.  She kissed me twice and I am so happy to know that she likes me, but I feel so guilty as well I can't do this to her. I have to go see her I have to tell her what I have been hiding from her. She was right she didn't know me and she still doesn't know all of me and I am fine with that but she dose need to know this one thing about me. I take off my orange shirt that I died and put on a plain white one, and leave on my white pants. I can't go outside wearing a bright orange shirt that would get me sent away for sure. I head down the steps and out the door of the old studio. As I walk down the street I think of how I am going to tell Halyn that I was offered to become a leader. I couldn't believe it myself when the job was offered to me. I snuck into one of the meetings through the back window  just to listen because well it is one of my dreams to control the system and be a part of it. I just have never told her that I wish I did I wish I could tell her so many things. 

Her dad who is a incredibly smart man started to speak.  I remember his words clearly, "I think that we should put a stop to the riots, we can't use force or else there would be more, if we just use words they won't listen to us. Are there any suggestions?" That when I recall I raised my hand from me sitting in the back of the room. 

Her dad called on me, "Whats your name son" he said. I remember telling him my real name knowing that I never even told Halyn I lied to her instead, she knew something about me the first day I met her she said my name and I haven't herd it in years.

I just wanted to be known for once in my life time and thats when I said it loud and clear, "Zackery Miller." All my lies will unravel if I tell her this tonight. I plan to tell her this tonight I hate lying to her she's so wonderful and she doesn't deserve a guy like me.

"Okay Zackery what is your plan?" He talked to me like we were on the same level. Like I had power and was capable of showing it. Thats when I told him that maybe if people knew where they were going to they would stop all the riots. He loved the idea and Halyn hated it. I came up with the idea. Yet Hayln was smart enough to figure out why it would be a bad idea. Thats when he asked me if I wanted to be like him. A leader. Thats why they are having the announcement to tell fake lies, and to introduce their new leader. But Halyn she didn't believe that the announcement would be true, she was to smart and thats what worries me. She is too smart for the system to smart for everything she could ruin all my plans if she ever figured them out. But she believes me and thats what makes her dumb. Because everything I seem to tell her is a lie or a fake truth . I don't know how to tell her I was only using her but then fell in love with her. In the beginning I  only used her for information on the system and I feel horrible for it. She has to know the truth about me but if I tell her the truth that means I will have to let go of her and lose her. Because if she gets too close she will ruin everything I have planned. Tonight I am going to tell her, Tonight I am gong to lose her, even if I love her.