Scattered [ONF ff]

Chapter 13

Another long day of too many thoughts and Hyojin felt exhausted, pulling his blanket up. Changyun's words had made sense and stuck around in his head; Seungjun wasn't a positive thinker when it came to his own situations. As much as Hyojin absolutely hated that he was found out, it had given him something new to chew on. It kept him awake that night, and the night after. Now again, he was staring at the ceiling, his brain rushing, debating what to do.

Talking it out with Seungjun really sounded like the most logical thing, but he couldn't help fearing it. He could barely say anything to Minkyun, how was he supposed to directly explain it to Seungjun?

With a defeated sigh he turned himself to his side, finding Seungjun already sleeping soundly. Hyojin felt he should do the same but couldn't calm down. His brain was cycling through the same four thoughts and his chest kept aching. Nothing listened, nothing knew what to do.

Even when he caught sleep, he knew it'd be a restless one.

The night hadn't yet ended when his mind began a picture show. He'd seen it coming, but that didn't make it any less terrifying. Something was chasing him. Adrenaline filled his entire being, spreading out from his thumping heart. Sweat broke out on his forehead as a claw swiped over his vision. Someone was trying to kill him. There was a crowd around him. He couldn't escape. He was falling.

With a jolt, his eyes opened. A nightmare—it had been a while since that had happened. The images were still familiar and he wasn't surprised they hadn't left yet.

His hands were shaking, he couldn't go back to sleep for a while. Whenever he tried that before, it'd just continue the dream. Water, that's something he did need, his throat dry.

Running the tap here could accidentally wake Seungjun, so Hyojin left for the main building and snuck into the kitchen. Minkyun was a heavy sleeper usually, but with more people in the house, Hyojin had noticed himself being careful until he knew everyone was awake. The clinking of glass couldn't be avoided and the water hitting the sink wasn't silent either, but Hyojin hoped it wouldn't disturb anyone in the middle of the night.

The moon was slightly obstructed, but still visible, so Hyojin hung himself on the counter to watch it shimmer behind elongated clouds. He tried to forget the chaotic imagery that had hounded him again, but the only other thing he could think of were his troubling feelings. It truly was taking up any waking second. He had to do something about it. He had to talk to Seungjun.

"There you are." The near whisper made Hyojin almost spit out the gulp of water he had taken. He already recognised the voice as Seungjun's and turned around.

"Did I wake you? Sorry."

Seungjun shook his head. "I woke up after you were gone, so I got worried."

"Worried?" Hyojin repeated in slight disbelief. "I'm fine. Just had a nightmare."

"About what?"

"The usual." Hyojin put his cup away and showed a smile. "But it's okay, let's go back to bed."

Seungjun ignored the statement as he had followed the hands that had opened the dishwasher. "You seem shaken. Do you want to go for a walk?"

"At this hour?" Hyojin wanted to say it wouldn't be smart, but then thought about it. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. He wasn't tired anyway. "Sure."

Neither bothered changing clothes. Hyojin didn't even grab his coat to feel human, and he wondered why. The urge to mimic such things he didn't fully understand had slowly disappeared. Going in a lake too cold for a person, not caring to put on the proper dress for going outside, why could he do that now?