Treat Me Gently

Chapter Five

"Sun too strong for you?" Was the first thing Adam said to me when I opened the door to his car. He was teasing me. I guess he thought it was funny that I was wearing sunglasses even though the sky was completely covered in dark gray clouds.

I didn't smile back, instead I studied the car seat for any evidence of the saltwater mess I had made on it last night. There wasn't any.

"Don't worry, I cleaned it up," he spoke again. I nodded my head and sat myself down, slamming the door closed after me.

"Sorry," I muttered to him. I had forgotten that it wasn't my own car.

Adam tilted his head at me as I stared into the windshield, not bothering to make pleasant conversation. When he realized I wasn't going to say anything else, he put the car in drive and made his way back to the beach.

It was only a ten minute drive, but to Adam, I'm sure it felt like hours. An awkward silence filled the car as we drove down the highway. I still hadn't taken my eyes off of the windshield.

If it were six months ago, or even three, I would never have agreed to let Adam take me home yesterday, and I sure as hell wouldn't be letting him give me a ride now. But it wasn't three months ago, it was today. Today I feel nothing, yesterday I felt nothing, the last two months I have felt nothing. It's like everything I should be feeling, sadness, anger, Fear of getting into a car with someone I barley knew, were nowhere to be found.

I'm not me anymore, sometimes I wonder If I'm even really here, like I'm just floating outside of my body and my soul can't figure out where to go.

I glanced over at Adam, he was fixated on the road and seemingly lost in thought. "Do you always drive in complete silence?" I asked.

His eyes snapped back towards me. "What? Oh..." He started. "I just wasn't sure if you wanted me to play anything."

As he answered me, I reached down into my backpack and reached for something in the side pocket. "Do you mind?" I held up a vape in my hand and held it to my lips when he nodded his head. "I don't mind if you put something." I inhaled deeply, ready to welcome the relieving feeling that came with not having to be completely sober.

"Okay," He murmured as he watched me intently. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but I'm sure it was something judgmental about me being a nicotine addict.

But as I said before, it isn't three months ago anymore, it's today, and today I was Ingrid the nicotine addict. Today, I am lost, and I'm not sure if anyone will ever find me again, I'm not even sure that I will ever find myself.

I inhaled again as Adam pressed play on his stereo, and I appreciated the sweet sound of music dancing through the smoke that was filling the car, even if it was a song I had never heard before.

Only a few minutes later, we arrived at the parking lot where my car was still parked close to the shore of the water I'm sure I almost died in yesterday.

I waited for Adam to park next to it before undoing my seatbelt and making my way out of the car.

"I'll follow you." He told me before I shut his door. I still wasn't sure what his goal was with being so nice to me. I'm sure I haven't been the greatest person to be around, and I don't think I said or did anything interesting enough to keep his attention.

I pressed the button on my keys and threw open my door to get inside. After putting the keys in the ignition and turning on the car, I reached for my backpack, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and rolling my windows down.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Adam watching me from his own car window as I brought one up to my lips and held the flame of my lighter up to the end of it.