teen skk (crack oneshots)

shooting trick

"MORI!"

Mori flinches so hard he almost falls out of his seat, grasping the edge of his desk with a white-knuckle grip. The double doors that lead to his office have been flung open so violently that they've left dents in the walls he'd just refurbished.

"Dazai-kun, what have I said about knocking?" Mori chides, clutching at his chest. "You're going to give me a heart attack one day."

"That's the goal," Dazai smiles brightly, striding confidently towards Mori's desk. Mori pouts. Dazai is so mean to him. "Me and Chuuya have something we want to show you."

"Chuuya?" Mori questions. He immediately regrets it.

Just the name is enough to summon him. Mori's wall crumbles to dust as Chuuya bursts into the room, once again foregoing the door. You'd think being in the mafia would teach him a little something about stealth, but no, now half the mafia's budget goes towards their building's structural integrity.

"Mori-san!" Chuuya yells. "Me and Dazai had-"

Chuuya catches sight of Dazai standing in the middle of the room and stops.

"Chuuya-kun, I have a door for a reason," Mori sighs, clasping his hands in front of his face. "I urge you to use it. Please."

"What, that thing?" Chuuya points at the open entrance where Dazai had flung the doors open. "But I can just go through the wall."

"It's a matter of courtesy, Chuuya-kun," Mori forces back a sigh, speaking through grit teeth. "You can't break walls down everywhere you go for the rest of your life."

"But I can?" Chuuya says, tilting his head to the side. "You don't make any sense Mori-san."

Mori presses his fingers to his temples, fighting a migraine. He can't deal with these two. "Don't worry about it, Chuuya-kun, we'll work on it later."

"Sure," Chuuya says offhandedly, focusing back on Dazai's presence. "What are you doing here, shitty mackerel!"

"I was about to demonstrate our new technique to Mori," Dazai says, waving somewhat in Mori's direction while turning to face Chuuya. Never has he ever felt so dismissed in his own office.

"By yourself?" Chuuya's brow furrows. "I don't think that would work."

Dazai rolls his eyes. "That's why you're here."

"Fair," Chuuya nods. Then he pulls out his gun.

"Woah," Mori says, putting up his hands. He hasn't ever seen Chuuya with a gun, the boy usually choosing to use just plain bullets instead, or simply crushing his enemies. Chuuya with a gun is uncharted territory. He'd honestly hoped Chuuya had forgotten about the mafia standard of carrying a gun and would never discover he was allowed such a weapon. Alas.

"Don't worry Mori-san, I figured out how to use this myself," Chuuya smiles reassuringly at him. Mori does not feel reassured. He watches Chuuya click the safety off with much apprehension.

Then Chuuya immediately turns and shoots Mori's desk, narrowly missing his elbow.

"Chuuya!" Mori yelps, jumping away from where the bullet just hit. "This better not be an assassination attempt! I'm too young."

"No you're not," Dazai frowns.

"It's not an attempt," Chuuya says at the same time. Mori appreciates one of them more than the other. "I was just showing you I knew how to use it."

"You almost hit me!" Mori exclaims, examining the hole in his desk. Another thing he'd have to replace because of Chuuya.

"But I didn't," Chuuya says, looking too proud of himself. "Anyway, me and Dazai wanted to show you the new technique we developed for missions and stuff. It's pretty cool."

"I'll be the judge of that," Mori mumbles, eyeing Chuuya's gun, which dangles way too casually from the boy's hands. He can't lie and say he isn't getting a bit nervous.

Chuuya and Dazai turn to face each other. Dazai glances at Mori, opening his mouth like he's about to spout some lengthy explanation of whatever circus trick they've worked out this time. Mori doesn't want to hear it.

"Just get on with it," he says, his hands clasped so tight his knuckles have turned white. He's almost trembling in anticipation, finding himself invested in why Chuuya might need a gun.

"Well don't say I didn't try and warn you," Dazai mutters, relaxing his arms by his sides. Chuuya lifts the gun.

Chuuya shoots Dazai in the head.

Mori doesn't have time to react in the second between Chuuya pulling the trigger and Dazai hitting the floor.

A million thoughts race through his head, from not Dazai why Dazai Dazai does my taxes for me to I fully believed they were in love or something what to he's bleeding on my new carpet goddamn Chuuya you've cost me another billion yen.

"What the fuck," is what he ends up saying.

"Language, Mori-san," Chuuya frowns, bring his hand up to examine his gun, like he was confused about how it just shot his partner in the head.

"I can't fix that Chuuya-kun!" Mori anguishes, rushing over to inspect Dazai's forehead. "My certifications don't cover brain surgery."

"Wait, you have certifications?"

Mori lets out a strangled scream, jumping back from Dazai's body, which is sitting up now.

"Yeah!" Chuuya swoops down to high-five Dazai, who looks significantly more alive than he did two minutes ago. Dazai hits Chuuya's hand with a solid thump, then clasps their hands together to pull himself up. Mori feels faint. There's still blood on his new carpet.

"So?" Dazai turns to Mori, who's still on the floor trying not to pass out. "What do you think?"

"Um," Mori pushes himself to stand, refusing to let these two maniacs tower over him. "It was... um."

"I wasn't even sure it was going to work," Chuuya exclaims excitedly. "I fully thought I missed your forehead and hit an eye or something."

"Lol," Dazai says, unconcerned. He reaches up to his forehead, which is still dripping blood, and pulls out a crimson bullet. He prods at the area a few times and then gives Chuuya a thumbs up. "You didn't even crack my skull or anything that time, it feels pretty alright."

"Nice," Chuuya fist pumps, sliding his gun away. Mori hadn't even realised he's been holding his breath until he sighs in relief.

"Anyway, we just wanted to let you know we can do that now," Dazai says to Mori, turning to walk back out the door. Mori isn't even sure what that is, but he's feeling a bit dizzy. He's going to have to sit down for a while before he could even start to process what he'd just witnessed.

"Yeah, see you later Mori-san," Chuuya waves, turning to follow his partner. Mori wonders if he's actually going to walk through the door this time but- ah- no. He's swerved at the last second, jumping back through the wall and creating a second hole next to the first. Mori doesn't even have words.

He lets them go without a word.

What has he unleashed upon this world?