denial (SATIRE) (THIS IS A JOKE)

you are here

--and slit his throat with a receipt 

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i woke up the next day and noticed that cherry was in a restaurant and i knew she was with fucking zed from zombies. i could feel it in my bones.

i put on an entirely black outfit and looked emo as fuck and i went out to the restaurant. cherry left quickly to go call someone so i walked in and dragged milo out the back door to the alleyway with trash cans. there i hit him once and it was so bad and i am such a strong alpha male that he died instantly. 

i then slit his throat with a receipt because it would be kawaii. put his body in the trashcan and went into the bathroom to change into a normal outfit. 

i walked out with a smile and cherry caught me. she narrowed her already narrow chinese eyes at me and went, "where is milo???"

i smiled, "oh i dont know. he was with some girl named vanessa and told me to tell you that vanessa is better than you and that he's dating her now before flying off into the sunset with her on santa's sleigh."

she looked sad and broke down crying and i hugged her and grinned, "its okay pookie-wookie-bear, you have me, im a tough alpha male for you grrrrr! cutesy!! teehee!"

she looked confused, "can you talk normally for once?"

"i can am talking normal cherry-chan!!"

she stared deeply into my soul and gave me a disgusted look, "uh. okay. im gonna go home then."

"DO YOU NEED A RIDE" my grin widened until i looked like a cheshire cat.

"no i'm g-"

i threw her into the passenger seat of my car and began driving "so how was ur day"

"horrible! he cheated on me!" she took out her phone and texted him that she was breaking up with him. its so good that she doesnt know zed from zombies is dead.

"i hope i can make it better uwu"

"uh. sure." she looked annoyed but she looked cute when shes angry and that doesnt demean her at all.

i dropped her off at her house and stayed outside for a bit, taking photos of her through the window before i drove away back to my apartment.

there i smiled to myself and played her music and looked at the photos that i had of her. it is so good and cool and real and amazing to be a stalker!! i mean im not a stalker or a creep this is very normal and i will continue doing this.