At Least Your Brother's Not Gonna Die Because of You!

The Results Are In, But We All Know This Isn't the End

Mario and Luigi are sitting at a café when Luigi makes a phone call.

"Doc?" Luigi says. "Just checking to see if you have my biopsy results yet."

"We should have them today, so when they come in, I'll call you."

"Thank you." Luigi says, then hangs up.

"I take it still nothing?" Mario asks, and when Luigi shakes his head grimly, Mario grabs his hand. "Lu, I told you no matter what it says, we'll beat it, okay? Just another adventure for the Mario Brothers."

"Peach?" Luigi says suddenly, noticing her come in. "Hi!"

"Well I've been talking, and I understand why you don't want to tell your family..."

Luigi winces, bracing himself for what's coming next.

"But I strongly believe that's a bad idea." Peach finishes.

"We may have our disagreements, but they'd wanna be here. You know they would." Mario adds.

"Sure they'd wanna be here." Luigi rolls his eyes. "And have our dad harp on Mario for letting me get brainwashed, nevermind that I was the one who jumped on the Chaos Heart at the wedding. Believe me, I'll beat this thing a lot sooner if he doesn't come here. I never want to see him again!"

"Lu..." Mario looks shocked, but Peach just calmly sits at their table.

"Luigi, we know that's not true." Peach says. "You love your father, we know you do."

"Who asked you anyhow?" Luigi huffs. "Did Mario tell you how our dad was constantly telling him he was dragging me down with him? Which is a lie. If anything, it's the other way around."

"No it's not." Mario says firmly, trying to make Luigi look at him. "Our dad apologized for that, and he's done everything since to make up for it."

"Sure, now." Luigi sighs. "You know, eventually you just gotta stop making excuses for the man and just admit he's a bad parent. I don't care if I'm being unreasonable! I don't want him in our home! And trust me, if he's not harping on Mario, he's gonna be harping on our choice to move here and trying to convince us to give everything up and move back home."

"Your father loves you." Peach says weakly.

"You call that love?" Luigi scoffs.

"Lu, it's okay. We'll keep it quiet." Mario tries.

"Good." Now Mario's starting to get scared. He's never heard Luigi talk like this before. "Cause right now the only comfort in all of this is knowing he won't see me again until I'm dead!"

Luigi apparently sees something in their eyes, because he suddenly gets angrier, "Holy fuck, you've been gossiping about this?"

"No, I swear--" Mario tries, but Luigi stands up and screams, "STOP BOSSING ME AROUND!"

"Luigi." Peach says calmly. "Sit down and stop yelling at your brother."

Luigi sits down slowly, as Peach continues, "We know you better than you think, enough to know you'd never talk like this about your family."

Luigi laughs, but Peach insists, "Whatever's in your brain is messing with your thoughts. You were warned this could happen, remember?"

Luigi nods reluctantly.

"You were told based on where exactly it is, it could alter your thinking patterns, make you behave irrationally, and possibly lose control of your verbal filter." Peach continues, calm as ever. "Do you remember Mario bringing you to the castle to fill me in?"

Luig sighs, "I think so...", then looks at Mario apologetically, "I'm sorry, Mario. I didn't mean that."

"Don't worry about it." Mario's already waving it off. "We were warned this could happen."

"Stars, what the heck possessed me to get so angry back there?" Luigi shakes his head in wonder. "I love our dad, and despite them occasionally butting heads, I know Mario does too. And we both miss him, and everyone else, all the time. I just don't want to scare them. That's why I don't want to say anything until we know what this is. They've got their hands full with their lives in Brooklyn. No way in the Underwhere am I about to throw myself onto the pile telling them I'm gonna die."

"Stop that." Mario swats him. "You're not gonna die."

"You need to hope for the best-case scenario." Peach says. "For all we know, it's not a tumor at all."

"Doc already knew what it was the moment she pulled it out of my head." Luigi says. "Me hoping for the best doesn't change that."

"But it could change your recovery." Mario points out.

Luigi's phone rings, so he says, "That's my doctor.", then answers, "Didn't think you'd call me back so quick, doc."

" I'm looking at the biopsy results. "

"And?" Luigi asks, nodding at Mario.

" I think you should come in person. And bring Mario. Can you both come in? "

"Already walking out the door." Luigi promises, hanging up. "Doc's got the results, and she wants us both there to hear them."

"I'll join you." Peach says as they all stand up.

"You sure you're ready?" Mario asks worriedly.

"Not at all." Luigi replies. "But whatever, we're still gonna do it."

With that, the three leave the café and head for the hospital.

"Hello?" Luigi knocks on his doctor's office door. "One biopsy to go, please."

"Come on in." The doctor says, and as they do, she explains, "Hope you don't mind, I brought in another doctor for a second opinion to make sure we were both seeing the same thing."

"How are you?" The other doctor asks.

"Ask me again after I hear the results." Luigi replies.

"Any questions?"

Luigi shakes his head, "Can we just get this over with?"

"I agree. Let's just hear the results." Mario says.

"Okay then." The doctor sits down, holding up some papers. "These are your biopsy results. And, drum roll please, the mass inside your brain...is not a tumor!"

Both brothers' mouths fall open, but Mario recovers first, "Luigi's not in any danger?"

"Luigi doesn't have brain cancer." The doctor confirms.

"You're absolutely positive?" Luigi asks excitedly.

"She had me look at them too." The other doctor says. "The mass isn't a tumor."

Luigi doesn't hesitate to grab Mario in a hug, and the other plumber wastes no time hugging him back.

"Told ya you weren't gonna die, Weegee." Mario whispers in his ear, tears of relief falling from his eyes.