All Natural, Baby (Star Wars)

Space Wendy's and Cheese Sandwiches

Initially, when I woke up this morning, I started my routine of: willing the energy to get up, shower, brush my hair that I'm growing out cause my ears are so damn cold all the time, get dressed, and eat a cheese sandwich.

I'd say it has pretty decent ingredients. Toasted whole-grain multivitamin raisin bread with mozzarella and cheddar cheese slices straight from the fridge? Yes please. I always pack an extra one of those for wherever I'll be going.

Where will I be going?

Korriban, the homeworld of the dark side. There are countless legends there, my personal favorite being the Sith Acolyte Academy lead by Darth Revan and later maintained by Darth Malak. It fell, like, three-thousand-ish years ago?? Stupid rule-of-two, always sabotaging Sith fun.

You don't need a clearance code or anything like that to land on Korriban. It's a sort of "enter at your own risk" planet. The only thing I'm worried about is any possible hostile wildlife. And sand. I really, really hate sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere. I won't even touch it, and suddenly it's all over me? What the kriff is up with that?

Why venture to a deadly ancient dark-side planet, you ask? Well, there's one old dusty doug I've got my eyes on: Darth Nihilus. He was one of- if not the first- Sith Lord to take down a significant portion of the Jedi. If anyone can help me bring an equal ratio, it's him. He also ate planets, love that for him. Problem is, he's dead. Has been for a looooong time. Luckily, he preserved his spirit in his own holocron, so all I had to do was find it and then commune with the dead like some sexy space witch.

I was a little thirsty on my route to a hyperspace lane, so I did pick up some fries from Space Wendy's. Force, I really hope no sand gets on them.

So I'm landing my customized X-wing and spewing dust everywhere, with the windows closed of course, I'm not a kriffing ingrate. And my BB-series protocol droid who I brought along for the ride, BB-Q, gives me the atmosphere readings. 17% dust in the air? Great. I stuff my space cuisine in an air-sealed bag and hop out, landing on the ground like a superhero. It looks less cool than it sounds.

I trek my way through the sandy, rocky terrain, taking photos of all the cool geography. Seriously, have you seen those metamorphic layers? They're even being bent from the wind with the erosion exposure.

Of course, I've got my handy-dandy map with me, so the Sith Academy place should have been roughly 2 klicks east. Alright, not too bad. I take out my holo-pad and play A-ha's "Take on Me" while speedwalking like a soccer mom.

Let's hope Nihilus won't mind my countless blabbering about history to catch him up on what he's missed.