Midnight Moon

Chapter 42 - Midnight Message

Knocking split the darkness. Palimara jumped, her eyes snapping open and her heart throwing itself against her ribs. She looked to Koan beside her, already sitting bolt upright in the bed.

"Your Majesty, a missive for you."

Koan's frown mirrored her own. What message couldn't wait for morning?

He slipped out of the bed and strode across the room. Palimara sat up, straining her ears as the door opened. A candle appeared as murmured words were exchanged and, squinting against its brightness, she was able to make out Balrere handing something to Koan. The guard's expression was obscured, but she watched her husband's eyes widen and jaw clench.

The candle lifted, highlighting the lines on Koan's expression as he unfolded a letter. His face was grim as he turned sharply to his guard.

"Wake Commander Ranhi and send him here," he barked, authoritative even in his bedclothes. He was handed the candle and closed the door, striding back but sinking beside her slowly.

She licked her lips, her mouth suddenly dry. "What is it?" she dared to ask, gripping her hands together. "Is it Veanna? Is she..." She didn't know how to end the question, terrified and hopeful.

"She's been found. She's alive." Koan raised his gaze to hers, his expression full of concern rather than the excitement she expected. "I think."

He pressed the letter into her shaking hands, and her eyes caught on the seal hanging from the paper. She recognised the four-petalled stamp, though she had rarely seen it used. No wonder they had been woken in the middle of the night.

Your Majesty, I am close, but I must admit failure. I almost succeeded near Tveyin, but lost them. She is with the Order of Kysuk, though I do not know what sort of defence they will put up. I have reason to hope, and a larger force would have more success than me now. Please hurry.

A.

"Aeron," Koan confirmed. "He found her." She met his eyes again and saw them sparkling with tears as her own eyes prickled. Though they had prayed for it countless times, the idea of getting their baby back was now tantalisingly close.

She reached out and took his hand, united by hope rather than by grief. Then he pulled away.

"I need to prepare," he said, rising to his feet.

She blinked. "For Torland? Are you sending him after Veanna?"

"For fighting." He didn't turn, heading for the dresser. "I'm going with him."

"What?" She scrambled out of the bed, her heart tumbling to her feet.

Koan looked back, one hand on the wardrobe. "I can't just sit here," he said quietly.

"But... you can't... This isn't what I meant by taking risks!"

"I know." His gaze held sadness; he was already mourning his departure. "But I have spent months sitting here in safety, dealing in diplomatic technicalities and nobles' squabbles and court formalities, all while our daughter has been in danger. I have been useless for months; I have to do something now."

"And if you don't find her?" Palimara pushed. She was desperate to have Veanna return but wasn't sure she could put Koan on the line at the same time. "If she's... If you don't bring her back? If you -" She choked on the words as tears spilt onto her cheeks.

"I am confident leaving the kingdom in your hands while I am gone," Koan said calmly. "You do so much to keep it running smoothly already; there's no one I'd trust more to be in charge while I bring Veanna home. And if you need to lead for longer... Well, I have faith in you."

"This isn't my kingdom to rule." She almost didn't add the final two words - she had always been here for him, not for Levea. "I've told you a hundred times; I was never raised to be a Queen, certainly not a lone one. You and Veanna were prepared to rule from birth, you don't know how much it takes. How much I don't have."

He brushed tears from her cheeks as they tracked down his own. In the sparse candlelight, he looked tired - old, even. She hadn't felt this apprehension of his departure since he had been fighting in the War, and she wondered whether he was having similar thoughts.

"I promise I'll come back, Mara," he assured her in a low voice, raising one of her hands to kiss her knuckles.

The unrelenting tide of worry tempted her to look away, but she forced herself to hold his gaze, savouring this moment of quiet. They wouldn't be alone much longer; Torland would have been roused by now and would help make a plan of action, then there would be that familiar bustle of servants, soldiers, and guards. Rations, weapons, and armour would flurry around the palace until every fighter mounted their horse and her husband was torn from her arms again.

Palimara swallowed. Her ancestors valued solidarity, grit, determination. Was she championing that, holding her husband back from the campaign that could save their daughter, when so many others lost spouses and children every day in service to their name?

"Then make sure you bring her back with you." Her heart ached with bittersweet fear and painful hope, unable to consider being left alone, adrift. "Whatever it takes, bring Veanna home."