old fashioned • dj&ts

xii. bad energy

All the progress Alexis made with Billy went to shit as soon as she entered Diane and Tom's apartment. She stopped showing up to work and barely left the apartment at all, feeling stuck. She didn't know where to go or what to do. She missed her friends but was afraid of how much it would hurt her to go back. She tried calling Daisy, but the calls never went through. Maybe nobody even wants her back.

Diane and Tom were supportive of her emotional slump for the first week, but then they started nagging her about her plans.

"We're not going to let you sit here and rot because some rock and roll dickhead cheated on you with your best friend," Tom said, crossing his arms. "It's awful, we get it, but you're better than that."

"We think you need to talk to someone and get some help," Diane added. Alexis laughed.

"I'm not seeing a fucking shrink, I can figure this out on my own," she told them.

"We were going to suggest rehab. Just for a few weeks so you can get back on your feet. They have people there you can talk to, people who know how to help you."

"If you don't agree to go, you can't live here anymore. You quit your job, you're not paying rent and drinking all of our alcohol," Tom argued. "We love you, but you're a mess."

Alexis was surprised at how direct they were. She didn't think they were close enough that they'd care this much when they could've just kicked her out and left it at that.

"Now?"

"Now."

Alexis Rose, voluntary psychiatric and rehabilitation patient.

Psychiatric, she thought. It makes her sound so much worse than she felt, and she was about to go through the worst three weeks of her entire life. Between detoxing and being forced to tell her life story to a woman she swore was younger than her, she was miserable.

Think of it like you're getting rid of all the bad energy that has been suffocating you, the woman told her. Bad energy? What is she, a broken lightbulb? She wasn't exactly looking at her sweat and vomit thinking about her energy. She had no energy, that's all she knew. They forced it all out of her until she felt like a hollow shell of a human.

"Tell me about Derek," the woman pushed. She couldn't wait 48 hours to start bringing up everything Diane and Tom told the receptionist against her will.

"What do you want to know?" Alexis asked. "You went to school for this shit and you can't be more specific?"

Anger. Irritation. Impatience.

"How did you and Derek meet?"

"He snuck me into a bar and offered me drugs," Alexis stated bluntly.

"Did he ask for anything in return?"

"Of course he did. I was so desperate to get away from my parents I did anything he asked and he took care of me."

"What did he ask for?"

"Sex, mostly. As long as I didn't argue, he put a roof over my head."

"He wanted your obedience?"

"I guess."

Anger. Irritation. Impatience.

"What would he do if you didn't obey him?"

"What do you do to a dog when they disobey you?" Alexis asked, repeating exactly what Derek had told her.

"He hurt you?"

"No, he fed me cake and gave me presents," Alexis said sarcastically. "He kicked me around and called me a bitch until I apologized. Can I go now?"