Lucifers Older Sister // Alastor x fem¡reader

Numbness

*⚠️MEGA TRIGGER WARNING⚠️*

This chapter goes into panic attacks, starvation, and self-harm. It is descriptive. I will put a '*' before and after writing it so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

I just want to tell you all who are and aren't struggling, that you've got this. I know. You're not alone.

Y/n is in a dark spot, and if you are too, then feel free to message me. I will always take time to help. I don't care if it's 4 in the morning.

I'm struggling, too. This chapter was hard.

You. Are. Not. Alone.

I love all of you sinners.

~

I look into Lucifers head to see how he thinks or feels on this matter.

'Why does she love blood so much? It doesn't make sense. I want her to know her niece but not like this.

It's for the best.

It has to be.

Fuck stop crying pussy.'

I exit his mind and walk out of his manor.

Being God's first creation has its perks.

I'm not graced with the emotion he's given others.

I don't feel sad unless a normal being would be truly broken, I don't feel happy unless a normal being would be leaping for joy, I don't feel anything unless it's extreme.

I mainly feel anger. Anger towards God. Anger towards Adam.

Anger towards me...

I should've been more careful. One of my wounds must've opened while I bounced Charlie...

I've been around so much blood that I don't even notice it anymore.

I want to see her grow...

I want to play dress up with her and my brother...

I want so much for her...

For all of them...

If this is what it takes for them to feel safe, I'll do it.

I'll do anything for them.

I will gladly take these beatings to know that they'll be happy.

These beatings...

God...

Why did you create something just to throw it away into a pit of nothing where I can't even achieve the sweetness of death?

I want so much for them that I don't even know what I want for myself. They need to be happy, safe, and protected.

"Hanc tuere omnibus potes. Charlotte Morningstar nulla manu laedetur donec iterum conveniant." I whisper a spell before leaving the property completely.

I don't know when I'll see these people again.

All I know is I want to cry, but I physically can't. It's like my body won't allow it.

I teleport to my manor.

*

I sink to my knees as soon as I enter the den.

I started breathing heavily, I couldn't even manage a single tear, whereas my brother was able to cry so freely.

"What is wrong with you?" I ask myself angrily. "You couldn't even stop to notice blood?!"