All Along

012

"Because he sold drugs behind our back for three years..." The words are rushed an his voice breaks at the end but I'm able to make out what he said. He puts his hands over his mouth like he said something he shouldn't have. His eyes widen to the point where I'm scared they may fall out of his head.

"Wh-what?" I shudder.

"He cheated on mom with our neighbor and sold drugs so that we were making a little extra income," he puts his head down.

Cheated? Drugs? Three years?!

"That's why I didn't want you to see him. He is a terrible man, Tess." He says softly, tucking a strand of my hir behind me ear. "That's why mom asked him to leave in the first place."

So many thoughts are rattling around inside me, giving me a headache.

"So... Did he actually leave because he couldn't handle me?"

I've got so many questions to ask and I don't know what to start with.

"More like the other way around... We couldn't handle him," he sighs.

"Why not?" I ask, on the verge of tears.

"He... Cheated. That alone was enough to cause the divorce but then he had another child with the woman he had an affair with. Then he got into doing drugs and after months and months of rehab, we thought he would have been clean; long story short, he continued dealing and mom followed through with the divorce," he rushes his words again and it's hard to comprehend what he is actually trying to say.

This is... new. I can't believe that the man I sat at home, waiting for turned out to be a horrible person.

"An unfaithful man isn't a man, Tessa. He's a dog!" My mother told me the same thing over and over when I was little. Now I understand why.

"You should probably tell him you need to reschedule," he adds "but I really would be happier if you didn't go at all!" He pleads one last time. I give him a glare, signaling that now is not the time to argue with me.

I meet Jack half way and decide to make up an excuse and tell my father we will have to try for another day. Which is probably a good thing. It will give me time to decide how I actually feel about this. Because at the moment, I'm mentally confused.

I shoot my father... Michael, a text.

*I can't make it, Jack caught stomach flu have to take care of him*

It's a lie but I can't find the courage to say something or to call him and confront him about the affair. This is something that needs to be dealt with in person. This isn't a situation where I can text da- Michael and confront him and ask why he cheated and why he sold drugs do so long.

It's funny that he's my father because he really isn't. I know, that sounds strange. He's really just another stranger. I've talked to Michael over the phone once. One time in fifteen whole years. As far as I'm concerned, I've never met him in person, but God knows what else my family has been keeping from me.

"While I'm getting things off my chest..." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"Jack," my eyes widen. He's about to drop something huge on me and I don't like where its going.

"Do you remember the day Liam beat you up and I found you?"

"Yea, you were early coming home from school," I raise my eyebrows.

"And I'll explain why," he sighs, before whispering 'here we go!'
"I ditched that day... to go see him. He contacted mom and said he was back in town to stay and that he wanted to see us. Mom didn't like that idea but I needed to see him; I need answers... So I did. We planned the whole thing perfectly. He was a different person, Tessa. He's not our dad anymore. He never was," he frowns.

I walk out of Jack's room before I completely broke down right in front of him.

The man I waited for for so long to call, to text, to email or even a simple letter; He's a drug addict. Not only is he a drug addict, he's a drug dealer and a cheat.

I find myself at that place again; with Cory. He cradles me like a child, whispering soft nothings into my ear. Any other day I would have told him that I'm not a child and I don't need to be coddled but I'm to weak to put up a fight.

"I waited for him. I waited so long; and now I want nothing to do with him," I cry into Cory's chest. I'm sure his shirt is now drenched in tears but at the moment, I could care less.

"Hey, don't get yourself worked up over him. He's a waste of your time." He says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

A few minutes pass and I look back up at Cory. The bruise by his eye is still evident and the ache in my chest strings through me.

I put my hand on his cheek and draw circles with my fingers. I lightly skim the faded purple spot under his eye and he flinches at the contact.

"Did it hurt?" I ask him.

"Not anymore. The bruise is almost gone and everything else is healing up nicely too," he smiles and I can't help but smile along with him.

"I'm meant losing her; You're mom. Did it hurt?"

The color drains from his face once I mention her and I instantly feel guilty.

"I'm sorry.. that..."

"No, it's okay" he sighs, "It did hurt. I loved my mom; I loved her a lot. I found the body." A tear escapes from his eye and trickles down his cheek slowly and my heart aches for the poor boy.

"She... She overdosed; Didn't mean to. She was abusing medication that was prescribed for my dad. I found her over the toilet with her... With her fingers down her throat. It was a terrible sight. Vomit... Vomit everywhere and... And that beautiful, beautiful woman." he breaks down into a sobbing mess and I can't take. I pull him into my arms and hug him, lacing my fingers through his unruly mess of blonde hair.

He sobs and sobs and I pull him even closer than before. After a minute or two, he stops crying and excuses himself to go to the washroom. I nod my head and he exits at the same time his father enters the room.

"Hi, you must be Tessa." He smiles the warmest smile I've ever seen on a man. The dimples peak through his pale cheeks, just like Cory's do. His hair is a dirty blonde color and his eyes pierce through mine with their beautiful gray color. He looks almost identical to his son and its not until he waves his hand in my face that I notice I've been staring at him.

"Kyle, are we gonna watch the ga-" a middle-aged man begins but is cut off when he notices my presence.

"Um... Michael, this is..."

"Tessa." He speaks again.

My jaw practically falls to the floor when realization finally hits. The man standing in front of me is my father.