All Along

008

He saw me. Liam saw me.

What do I do? He is standing about 30 feet away, staring holes right through me. An unwelcoming shiver rakes down my spine as he smirks at me. He takes another drag from his cigarette before dropping it on the ground and putting it out with his foot.

I walk backwards. I'm not too far from my house, I can still run; But you see, the thing is, I'm sick and tired of running. I'm supposed to face my problems and fight through them, not run away when it gets too hard.

A sudden urge of confidence urges me too walk up to Liam and confront him.

"What made you wanna come down here, Hamilton? I thought after what happened yesterday you would have figured out that you should not mess with me." He snaps before lighting another cigarette.

"What you did yesterday didn't change my opinion on you. I always knew you were trouble. It was obvious. What you did yesterday just verified my accusations, Liam," I fire back. I'm liking this new side of me a lot...

"So how's Satan?" I ask. He gives a questioning look, before realizing that I'm talking about Mandy.

"Oh, we broke up. I caught her cheating on me with Sean," he huffs.

"Serves you right," I laugh.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't care what a bad person she was, you didn't deserve her, even if she cheated on you! She has more human decency in her pinky toe than you have in your whole body!" I say, taking is cigarette out of his mouth. "Smoke up. They'll kill you someday!"

With that, I throw the cancer stick back at him.

"Where do you think your going, Hamilton?" He asks, grabbing my forearm as I try to walk away.

"Home," I shake out of his grip.

"Not just yet," he says trying to take a swing at my face but to my surprise, I am able to catch his fist and I think about throwing a pucnch at him but I'm a bigger person than that and I know how it feels to be punched but at the moment I'm not thinking so I do it anyways. What, I never said I was smart.

This newer, better, more confident side of me that I never knew existed, it finally shining through; and I'm loving it.

I don't even try to run away. I giggle as he wiped away the blood from his nose. He blinks a few times before blurting out, "You'll pay for that, Hamilton!"

I simply laugh as I walk away. Now that I know what I'm capable of, I won't put up with any of Liam's crap anymore.

Liam's life is crumbling right before him. His best friend is gone and frankly, Jack never wants to speak to Liam again. His unfaithful girlfriend is gone. As much as I hate Mandy, I won't lie, she is beautiful; Well on the outside that is. Not that it matters how she acts, guys like what they see and a good percentage of them only care about looks. And then he lost me. His puppet. His punching bag. The only way he could let out his anger. He doesn't have me to push around anymore and for that, I'm thankful.

When I finally get home, its around seven o'clock. I forgot to get food because I was too busy thinking about what happened with Liam. I decide to just order a pizza.

Mother isn't home. I'm still holding on to the sliver of hope that maybe she isn't getting drunk. Don't flatter yourself, Tessa. My subconscious mocks me. She's right though. I shouldn't get my hopes up like that. My mother is a drunk. I cannot deny that she is, no matter how hard I try. I will never be able to change that. It's a waste of time, worrying about what she is doing or if she is at the bar or not, because I know she is.

I spend the rest of the night watching movies with Jack and waiting for mother to return. But she never does. This isn't the first time that this has happened so I'm not the least bit worried about her. She is the one who decided to walk into that bar and drink whatever she did. That was her choice so whatever happens to her is her fault in every way possible.

"You'll pay for that, Hamilton!"

It's funny how he thinks he's so much better than me. He doesn't even call me by my first name. I hate my last name. I absolutely hate it. I hate the constant reminder of being a Hamilton. I hate that my mother is a drunk and that my dad is an irresponsible, jerk who couldn't handle raising both Jack and I. I hate it. There is nothing to like about being a Hamilton.

My brother has definitely had it worse though. I can't imagine what he must have felt, waking up with no dad. Then his mother having to explain to him that he left because he couldn't handle another child. I never knew him so I don't miss him as much as Jack does. He grew up without a father to teach him about everything a father should teach his son. He never had a father to go watch his games or too see him score the winning touchdown for the state championship.

I look over at jack while watching Little Miss Sunshine, a film he has loved since he was twelve. He smiles as Abigail Breslin runs into the yellow van with no door.

I don't know why he loves it so much. Yes, it is a very entertaining film but you would think that after years and years of watching the movie a numerous amount of times, that it would get old. Maybe because the family is so dysfunctional. The uncle is suicidal, the grandfather is a junkie, the father is a perfectionist and the son has taken a vow of silence. The only difference from their story and ours is that they love each other and in the end, everything works out in their favor.

Never, has anything ever worked out for us. Ever. I laugh a couple of times between the film and before I know it, I feel my eyelids get heavy and I'm fast asleep.