Letters to Adonis

Chapter:: Twelve

Dear Adonis,

The next week, I was used to my strawberry blonde hair. I bought it before going into my bathroom and dying it, when I came out my hair was noticeably different. When I showed my dad, he freaked out before he said he liked it. That was the first time I ever dyed my hair.

When I went over to your house to show you, you told me that you loved it. You didn’t want it to sound like you liked me more with this “false” beauty product, which made me laugh. I understood, though. The day after I dyed it, my dad left. I don’t have my license so I couldn’t drive him to the airport. Instead, I had to wake up early and tell him bye before he gets into a taxi to leave me for a week and a half.

“Bye, kiddo,’ my dad tells me with a small smile on his face. His eyes still look like he’s half asleep. His dark hair is streaked with grey; his brown eyes have crinkles on the sides. I can see laugh lines that I never noticed before. How long had he laughed enough to show them?

“I’m going to miss you,” I tell him as I hug him tightly. I’m not scared for him to leave, that maybe he’ll abandon me. He’s man enough to come back. I suddenly could see the logic in the saying “if you love somebody, set them free.” I was setting him free for a while. I glance over at the clock while he brings me in for another hug, 7:00. “Dad, you’re going to be late. You better get going.”

He glances over at the clock quickly. “Oh crap, well I love you and I’ll call you when I land.” He runs his hand over his pockets real quick, probably checking to make sure he has his cell phone before kissing my cheek.

“Bye, have fun.” I wipe my eyes and go grab cereal, knowing it’s probably a little too early to go over to your house. I eat as slow as I can, but the more I think about it, the more excited I become. We have a house alone for a week and a half. With the final thought, I get up and take a shower and get dressed before walking to your house.

The walk to your house is pretty, the sky seems brighter than usual and the place seems happier. I actually enjoy the walk a few blocks, and notice that I’m losing my balance a little bit. There’s nobody else on the street, so I don’t feel weird that I’m moving all around the sidewalk in anything but a pattern. My ring finger on my right hand is shaking a little bit, but I wrap my left hand around my right and smile, not letting anything ruin my day.

When I walk up to your house, I don’t knock. Unless it’s between times when you’re parents are home, I usually don’t knock. Turning the knob, and muttering a victory when the door is unlocked, I slide in your house. And I suppose it would be nice of me not to include this part, especially since you apologized so sweetly, but it’s a part of everything and I need to remember even our bad days.

“Oh, you know, she’s just a girl . . .” I hear when I step into the house. It’s you, obviously talking on the phone. I slam the door behind me, loud enough for you to hear.

“Who are you talking about?” I ask you, my hands cliché-ly on my hips. I thought I’d try to give you a chance to explain even though it was pretty obvious you were talking about me.

“I . . . um,” you pause for a minute and look down at your phone. I’m a little worn out from walking from my house to yours so instead of going out the front door; I go up stairs to lock myself in your parent’s bedroom. I lock the door and slide on the ground, wondering how long I’m going to stay in here. I’d have to leave before your parents get home, and looking at the clock I realize how long away that is.

“Can you just let me explain?” I can hear you on the other side of the door, right up against it. What I really want is to feel your warmth, you sitting right next to me.

“Of course, why not? I’d love to hear some excuses.” It was unfair of me to say this, because you’ve never wronged me before. You’ve never bullshitted me, but here I was acting like that’s all you’ve ever done to me. You don’t deserve this, but I can’t keep the crack out of my voice. It’s an emotional day, I suppose. Which is why this is worse, because I’m over reacting.

I don’t hear you sigh, or get up. It kind of amazes me for a second until I remember that you’re you, and of course you won’t give up on me. “I was talking to this ex girlfriend I had a few months ago. She’s super psycho, which is why I downplayed our relationship. I don’t know what she would do if she knew I was dating you, considering you’re a lot prettier than her.” I could hear the smile in your voice, it made me reach up and unlock the door. I opened it to find your back to the wall, staring at the door. You look up at me with this look in your eye that makes me melt.

I smile at you, offering my hand to you. You look up at me, your bright eyes are clear and as you smile at me I can see your dimple. “I’m sorry I’m so cranky. It was sadder than I thought to let my dad leave. He’s just always been there.”

You stand up and wrap your arms around me. “Its okay, Ariel, he’ll be back.” I never expressed this little fear to you, yet you always know what to say. As far as first days go, ours was pretty eventful.

Love, Ariel