Letters to Adonis

Chapter:: Three

Dear Adonis,

As we get closer, I can feel the symptoms progress. It’s not like they directly affect each other, thank god, I don’t think I can stay away from you. I think it’s just crazy coincidence, and it sucks. I have doctor appointments almost twice a week, and Dr. Edgar says he has never seen a case progress so fast. It scares me, and I don’t think I have explained to you how fast I’m really going away. I don’t want to scare you or anything, so I probably won’t tell you until you find yourself horribly in love with me. Or if we never reach that point, that’s okay too. You did the sweetest thing today, I’m almost crying as I write this.

I was sitting at home watching Criminal Minds with my dad, we always spend the days of my appointments together. It’s almost like a creepy tradition. I miss school, he calls in sick for work. Lately, it probably hasn’t been such a smart idea since I’ve been going every week now. But dad still stays home from work, relaxes on his recliner, and watches the best show with me. I’ve never thanked him for it, but I think he knows how much it means to me. I guess I forgot I told you that I would be home from school, going to an appointment at 2:00 . We hear the doorbell go off and I sigh, knowing I’ll have to get up and get it.

“Will you pause it?” I ask dad as I get up from the couch and walk to the door, still in my pajamas. I see out the side window thing next to the door that it’s you, and I want to laugh at how ridiculous I probably look. But instead of running to my room to fix myself and have dad answer the door, I open it and see you smile.

“Hello! How are you this great day?” I try to see if there’s a hint of sarcasm in your voice, but I find none. You genuinely think today is a great day. “I got these for you.” He pulls out flowers that I recognize from the shop next door of his mother’s cupcake shop.

“I’m good. Oh, thank you. Want to come in?” I move over and open the door more as you walk in. You’re in a sweater and jeans, boots laced up. Dad pauses Criminal Minds.

“Who was at the door, Ariel?” dad calls out, not wanting to get out of his recliner.

“Adonis, he brought me flowers.” I walk into the kitchen; you make your way into the living room. I sit on the love seat that is honestly the comfiest chair in the whole house, bundled up with a blanket.

I hear you and dad talking, but I don’t know what about. I open a cabinet to reach a vase to put the pretty roses in; I go on my tiptoes and reach it easily. I have it in my hand; I feel a weird sensation go through my hand before hearing a crash.

“Ariel?” I hear you and dad say, suddenly in the kitchen.

“It’s okay.” I look over at you guys, my face is probably really red. “It just slipped.”

You walk in and grab my arm. “Come on; let your dad pick it up.”

Dad walks in with a broom and dust pan. ‘Dad, you should let me do that. I’m the stupid one who dropped it.”

He looks up at me while he gets down on his knees. “I don’t want you to cut yourself.” He mumbles. You drag me upstairs to my room; dad probably knows we won’t do anything.

“Sit down.” You tell me while you close the door, and I wonder what you’re going to do.

“What is it?” I ask, you come over and sit next to me. Smiling and not telling me what you’re up to. You bring out a small box.

“It’s a promise ring type of thing.”You pull it out and slip it on my right hand. I almost said “this is too fast,” but we’ve known each other for four months and it feels right. I lean in to kiss you, and I try not to let it go too far since I could get in trouble for having my door closed alone.

“I really like you, Adonis.” I tell you as I pull away and stare at the silver banded ring, with a pink little gem in it.

“I like you too,” you lean in and kiss my neck and I flinch, I’m ticklish there and you know it.

“I have an appointment today.” I tell you, sadness is in my voice because it’s a checkup. Meaning that there can’t be any good news.

“I know, that’s why I came over.” You wrap your arm around me and let me tell you what I’m scared of exactly. The fact that I could develop Bradykinesia, which wouldn’t allow me to be able to button my clothes, tap my fingers, or cut my own food. Eventually my facial expressions would slow down and my talking would get quiet as it progressed. I wouldn’t be able to stand straight and stay balanced, and that scared me. Something as simple as standing, something you do as a child; being taken away from me. You listen, and you hug me harder as each thing gets scary enough to take my breath away. I, luckily, don’t cry. I haven’t been showing those symptoms yet, so I’m good. I ask you how your mom is, and you ask me how mine is.

“That’s not fair, you know I don’t visit her.”

“Maybe you should?” you suggest, I don’t get mad because of course it’s rational. I just can’t, I can’t do it.

“You should go with me, she’ll love you.” I say, almost excited to go but stop when I really think about it. “What if she doesn’t remember me? What am I supposed to do?”

“Introduce yourself.” You say with the cutest smile ever, and I tell you that we will go in a week.

~

I usually don’t write about doctor’s appointments, but this was a particular important one.

We get to Dr. Edgar’s office, and I’m such high priority that he doesn’t even make us wait anymore. And if he does, we get cookies and a soda. It sounds like a childish thing to enjoy, but you haven’t tried any of the cookies.

“How are you doing, Ariel?” Dr. Edgar asks me, we test my memory and movement progress each appointment, he told me appointments usually aren’t this frequent, but he wanted to make sure everything is okay; even if he can’t stop it.

“I’m having tremors, I dropped a vase today.” I look over at Dad to see him nod, acting like it’s a normal thing. I wonder if he’s in denial. “Sometimes I freeze before I take a step out of rooms, it’s usually at home so I don’t have to worry about it at school.”

“Do you find your tremors too embarrassing to stay in school with?” I flinch, what a weird thought. To be so embarrassed by my tremors to get out of school. I hadn’t even thought of it before.

“A little.” I was lying, but I could see you more if I didn’t have school in my way.

Dr. Edgar turns to Dad. “I think you might want to explore the option of taking her out of school. You’re a senior, yes?”

We both watch dad’s expression as he thinks about this. “Yes, I am.”

Later, when we are in the car, dad tells me the important thing. “I’m taking you out of school, you can get your G.E.D online if you’d like.” He looks over at me and I nod.

“I’m going to see mom next week.” I tell him, wondering if I will actually follow through.

                                                                                                                                                         Love, Ariel