hate n love

chapter 14•

tw

finney

a couple days had passed and it was Tuesday now. I woke up in the morning and showered, while I was in there I grabbed a razor and cut myself all through my arms. I was bleeding like crazy. Who cares though, life doesn't matter anymore. I got out the shower and got changed. I didn't eat either, I went straight to school while walking with Gwen.

"So. How has school been this week" Gwen asked "Good" everything was awkward with everyone now. I rarely talked anymore. When we got to school Gwen ran off with Amy, I would go to Bruce and Vance. "Hey finney" they said. "Hi" and that's about the most I would say to them. "I'm going to the bathroom" I ran off and opened the door. Matt, Matty and buzz were there. "Hi" I said. Knowing what would happen.

They started to beat me up until my face bled out. After they were done I went to class. It was math, meaning I sat next to robin in this class. I would make sure to always get there first so it wouldn't be awkward sitting down. I walked in and I went to Ms.Saturn. "Miss, I know I've asked you lots lately but can I please change my seat?" I asked. "I'm sorry finney but seating doesn't change till next year." I walked off, fuck her.

Robin walked in and sat down. He did the same thing he did the day before. "Finney please talk to me" he said. "Fuck off" and I scooted my chair further away. After class I went to lunch with Bruce and Vance.

"That fucking dick never stops staring" Vance said. He lifted his middle finger and put it high for robin to see. Robin would always turn after that. He was terrified of Vance after he beat him up the other day.

After school

I got home and went straight to my room. Gwen was watching tv downstairs

Gwen

Finney went straight upstairs. He was fucked up, I didn't know how to help. My phone rang. The name "shit hole robin" came up. I answered, this had been the tenth time he called me today. "What do you want fuck weed. Stop calling me" I said. "Gwen please. I know you're upset, and you have every right to be. But please hear me out"

"I don't give a shit bye" I said, and he cut me off "Gwen please stop don't hang up." He yelled. "Listen, I've lost friends and I have tons of people who hate me. And they have a right to. But I don't even care about them. With everyone I lost, the only person I care about losing was your brother. It was months ago that I made that bet and I never should've and it's my biggest regret. But please, please understand me. I would never do that to him ever again" he said

I thought about it, and really, I believed him. As much as I truly hated what he did, I couldn't let him lose finney. "I'll see what I can do, bye" I hung up. I immediately ran up to finneys room. He was getting ready for some party. "Finney, I know how much you hate Robin. And I know you deserve to. I'm mad at him more than ever either, but just listen." I said "I don't wanna talk about this Gwen."

"I really missed you. Finney, you've been depressed and sad and quiet ever since mom died. Believe me, I was too. Anytime you were with Robin you were different. Since you met him, you've been happy for the first time in so long. I can't lose that again. I hate seeing you like this finney. I miss you more than anything, nothings the same. When you're with Robin, you're yourself again." I wanted this to work, even though I knew it likely wouldn't.

"Gwen I can't. I can't hurt myself this bad again." He said "please, I just know if you give him another chance things will be different."

"I have to go im gonna be late okay? I love you." Knew it.

Finney

I walked over to the party at Bruce's. I thought about what Gwen said. Was she right? No, she couldn't be. Robin is a selfish dick. I got the Bruce's house and went inside as music blasted. Amy was at baseball that was two hours away and wouldn't be home with her parents till the next day, Gwen said she left at lunch today,

I walked to Bruce and Vance, they were talking to another guy I knew. Nick, I think his name was. "Hey finney" nick said "Oh hi" another guy came over that I knew, this was Josh. He was in the grade above. "Finney I wanted to show you space stuff I found out about but it's kinda loud down here can you come upstairs?" He said, he was in my science class and we both loved space. I didn't think twice and went upstairs to bruce's room, sitting on the navy blue covers.

Big trigger warning, this part is very disturbing and detailed, + rape.

"So what did you find out?" I asked. "Shut up and take off your clothes." He locked the door and walked over to me. "What?" I said, this can't be happening again. I can't go through this again. He didn't say anything and instead took the off for me. "Get the fuck off me!" He held up a gun to my head. I was never more scared in my life. "Don't say a word and lay back." He said, i slowly leaned back to lay down as two tears fell down my cheek.

He took off his belt, and then his pants, and then his boxers. "Please don't do this." I said. "Please stop." I repeated. He lifted the gun and put it to my forehead. "Do as I say or you'll fucking die." He forced himself onto me and I cried out. It felt like I was already dead. I stared up at the roof in shock as I got pushed back and forth. My face was covered in tears but I didn't make a single sound, except for unwanted moans.

Someone banged at the door. They knocked the door down and shut it behind them. I didn't turn to see who it was, I stayed looking at the roof. All I heard was punching. "Don't fucking touch him you rapist." I knew the voice. This was robin. I put my pants back on but I didn't think to put on a shirt, I ran to him and hugged him. He held onto me tight and sat me down on the bed. "Finney, im so so sorry for everything. I should've given you time after the party. I should've known how you would feel. That bet is the biggest regret of my life." He said "I understand if you don't ever forgive me but I just need you to- I cut him off by kissing him.

I didn't know why I didn't feel uncomfortable after what happened, but I had a feel it was because this was Robin. I loved him more than anyone I'd ever met. "I love you Robin. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I love you so much I couldn't ever ignore you forever."

I kissed him again. Bruce walked into the room. "Woah what the fuck" he said, Vance walked into the frame. "Get off him Robin!" He yelled. "No Vance it's fine I kissed him." I said. "What in shitter balls happened and why the fuck is Josh Rubens on the ground." He said "I think I might've knocked him out." Robin said. "He raped me. Robin came and helped. I forgave him for everything, Gwen talked to me earlier too." Robin smiled at the last part about Gwen.

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