First Life: The Wizard Prince & The Half-Blood Prince | Covert Romance

J: 14 Figured out.

JAMES POTTER

Severus is not answering my query; he is just staring at my face. I slowly lean in and bring my mouth closer to his, echoing my words.

"Would you rather, I not ask at all?"

Wordlessly, he slides his left hand from my fold and gently pushes me off.

"Go to your dorm, Potter," Severus whispers, turning away from me.

What he did with Regulus is unjust to me; I can see he is losing interest of being caressed, cuddled, and kissed by me. I had assumed I had seen every expression on his face, every unlovely part of him. Parts of him that Lily loved that I couldn't comprehend before are now laid out in front of me.

"Do you not want me anymore?" I repeat my unanswered question firmly.

I feel shame coiling in the pit of my stomach and tingling in the back of my spine. It's a familiar emotion, but one I haven't put my mind to it. As I look at him, he can barely look at me, and that alone makes me feel unwanted. It's so selfish of me to be hurt when he's lived through this emotion everyday.

"Sorry," I whisper,

This moment is so tense that it's suffocating, but I know that no amount of apology will make up for everything I've done to him.

"I'm sorry," I say a bit louder this time.

"Are you?"

I don't even miss the lisp in his voice as he says the words, and the guilt pierces my chest like a knife because I don't even deserve to hear his sweet voice.

Nodding, I started telling him how I had persuaded my friends to help me erase everyone's memory about the incident, how it turned into a competition, and how, for the first time, it felt like an honest victory. I paused in between as I expressed that I was actually hurting myself the entire time I was humiliating him, and when I threatened to take off his pants, I knew that I went too far. Because of the applause, things escalated, and when I checked with Lily, I didn't think she wouldn't care about what would happen to him next.

At that point, I realized that I needed to clear the air and that I had ruined what little friendship that they had left.

"If I could turn back time, I'd make sure, I'd restrain myself, I'm undeserving of even being in your presence, I don't want to fight anymore, I don't want to live feeling guilty ruining your friendship with Evans, I don't want to keep tormenting you just because you exist, I don't understand it either, but it's truly just because I can't get you out of my head," Tears began to fill up in my eyes, as my voice cracked,

"I—I'm sorry,"

With my tears dripping over his pallid face, Severus continued to stare at me. His eyes were lifeless. My heart is racing so quickly that it hurts while I wait for him to say something. If he doesn't forgive me; that's okay, I don't deserve forgiveness either way.

He blinks his eyes.

"Say it again," Severus whispers,

"I'm sorry," My voice comes out strained, my eyes welling up, and my bottom lip trembling.

Severus lean forward, his lips pressed against mine, catching my broken apology in whimpers of silent tears. His hands alternately caress and squeeze my length, causing me to gasp as I open my mouth in need of a release. I keep my hands to myself, allowing him to explore me, Severus scoots up, switching positions, and as I roll on my back, he climbs on top of me.

"Do you want me to take it off the muggle way, or would you prefer me to take it off with magic?" Severus whispered.

I blink my eyes as I take his right hand and wrap it around my neck tie.